Once Again...

加油!

2011-11-10T23:40:00.001+08:00

Exam period is coming. Too all who reads my blog (whom I suppose are just that few souls)

加油！

And I suppose that few souls who reads my blog are coping better than me. I think. HAH.

I have a lot to say, yet I don’t know where to start.

For the past few days, I had mixed emotions. I have thought about remodelling my life, thought about how escape from my current slumber, thought about the wrong decisions made from the past that led me to where I am now, thought about what will I do if time rewinds and even that… maybe I really haven’t walk out of my cloudy days. It sucks to think about ending life. It sucks to suspect that you are suffering from depression. And it sucks even more to think if you should visit a psychiatrist. But I am afraid that one day these thoughts might just overrule whatever sense I have left in mind. Yet, I think I have reached the tip. Every small trigger, sends a suicide message in my mind. I am really afraid of myself now…

Maybe I should stop to find my way again. Where I really want to go.

CM told me on our meeting the other day that you should never worry about being in a lousy course (which I am in) because it doesn’t mean a bleak future nor does it mean a low salary. He brought in the example of pharmacy (any souls in pharmacy who sees this, I am sorry).

He told me… “look, pharmacy is such a hard course to get in. You have to obtain at least 3As in your A-levels to even get consideration into the course. And when you graduate, what happens? You either work in a pharmacy (Watsons, Guardian, Unity) or in the lab. The average salary? about 2,500 and the increment is pathetic.” I thought, true. YT told me about that before. What he is trying to say here is that even if you get into a supposingly ‘good’ course, it does not mean you will have high salary pay in the future.

I might have painted my course a little too perfectly, but our pay can go up to 10,000 a month if you are an experienced PM. But being a junior PM is really tough. 苦盡甘來吧.

XS once told me never to suspect your decision today because you don’t know what happens tomorrow. In the future, you will not look back to today and say hey, I made the right choice, that’s why I am who I am now. When you made that decision, you never know if it’s right or wrong until the fateful day comes. 賭博吧.

I might have made very wrong turn 4 years back. But I should never look back and said I shouldn’t have made that choice. 現在就是賭輸了. 可能會有東山再起的一天吧.

I think…. I need to find a new life goal and I hope I do soon.

Mountains

2011-09-25T01:08:00.001+08:00

Piles and Piles of work. Piles and Piles of assignments. I can’t seem to see the end of it.

I kind of lost count of the work I have to do. I just hope with all my might that I don’t miss any submission dates.

What a heavy Semester for me. *huff*

Can’t wait for a getaway to Taiwan. Yet, nothing planned.

An unplanned trip will face all kinds of weird obstacles. Just hope we don’t end up sleeping on the streets.

I am too busy to plan.

No one else wants to plan.

Can’t wait for a getaway to Thailand/Vietnam. Yet, nothing planned.

Wonder if in the end, nothing happen.

All talk, no action.

Khun can stop flying us aeroplane.

加油！做你自己的英雄.

Isn’t the picture cute? :)

Rainy days.

2011-09-04T18:21:00.001+08:00

If everyone can walk out, why can’t I

Why can’t I forget the past and embrace the future

Why can’t I forget that particular you and move on

Why do I shun

Why do I hide

Why am I so addicted to Unhappiness

Why can’t I move on

Why oh why can’t I?

And so, School started….

2011-08-30T01:33:00.001+08:00

I haven’t been posting since I started school. So maybe a mini update? I will keep it short. PROMISE.

READER’S WARNING! Complaining starting soon…

So, this is what happened when school started…

I took 3 CORE mods this SEM only to know on the first day of school that all my friends took an additional core mod. Honestly, I felt super left out but not going to put blame to anyone but myself. On my part, I cleared by Elective requirements this SEM with the last U/E and the ARTS GEM.

Hence, I took Marketing as my U/E and Introduction to Narrative as my ARTS GEM without doing much of a research. On the first lecture of Narrative, I was shock out of hell cause I totally catch nothing the lecturer said. Till now, after 3 lessons, I still can’t tell you what is a narrative other than it is a story. And the worst thing? about 30% of the marks goes into tutorial participation. I ended up in a discussion module which I totally suck at! You know, I am a typical Asian student, or should I say Singapore student, I don’t like to speak up in class.

So, bad start to a new semester. To make things a little more crazy for me, it’s RAINING ASSIGNMENTS! A module of mine requires constant presentation and reports which is crazy in a way (total of 6 assessed assignments and numerous un- assessed assignments.) Then, tutorial this SEM ended up with presentation of discussion questions every lesson. (that makes 5 assignments.) On top of those group and individual assignments, there are these. I totally lost count of how many assignments I need to do. Just cross fingers and hope that I wouldn’t forget the date of submission. *Faints*

Well, looking on the bright side, it just prepares me for being a project manager who needs to work under extreme stress and tight timelines as whatever goes wrong anywhere, it’s your problem. Yes. I need to be an optimist. Not pessimist.

AND. AND. AND. I promise! The last thing…

LOVE

MUAY THAI

We FIGHT till we see blood!

AND

NUSTUDIOS!

Where imagination becomes reality!

MAYDAY.

2011-08-07T12:30:00.011+08:00

一隻鯨魚要怎麼放進冰箱
打開門然後用力關冰箱
然後呢如果你還想要放一隻大象

一份希望要怎麼放進心臟
如果你活得有一點悲傷
答案是用力丟掉鯨魚
用力甩悲傷

是誰說半夜不能吃便當
是誰說彩虹不能長在頭上
是誰說藍色就等於憂傷
你看看天空和海洋
順風時就展開雙翅飛翔
逆風時就當成在衝浪
沒有風的時候那就讓我
開開天窗

一句歌詞怎麼讓你很難忘
方文山林夕和我都在想
想破頭也鑽不進一個緊閉的心房

一個難題要用多少的智商
多少淚還有多少的盼望
多少人變成緊閉門窗孤獨的國王

Songs from MAYDAY never fails to motivate :) That’s what I like about them. Not those songs involving 爱的死去活来(there are, but honestly speaking I don’t really like) but songs that motivates :) They also have songs that makes you reflect on yourself as well as the society too, it comes close to heart. You’ll see.

笑忘歌 is a song that I’ve always liked. But recently I found a even nicer one (although it’s kind of emo.).There is no reason not to like that band. They sang their dreams, they motivate people to keep dreaming on. For people with dreams, as well as those without.

~GMH

2011-08-02T13:31:00.001+08:00

I came across a book in NLB a last week and saw a very interesting book. The book is titled “GIVES ME HOPE'” In short, GMH. It’s about very short inspiring stories that span across work, relationship, suicide , disorders and all. It’s suitable for all people. The book aims to let people feel the positive vibes in society given our everyday experience in negativity. I personally like the book and hope if you do come across it, just pick it up to read. It’s won’t take you more than a day to finish the book. But it would be nice to enjoy it slowly.

The book is only a few of the millions story and if you find it inspiring as I do, do visit their website at www.givesmehope.com .

I like these few stories I saw in the book.

My little sister came home from school one day and demanded I take her to the library so she could get books on sign language.

I asked why? She told me there was a new kid at school who was deaf and she wanted to befriend him.

Today, I stood beside her at their wedding watching her sign... "I DO".

3 days ago, my best friend died.

2 days ago, I found that she was an organ donor.

1 day ago, I heard that a nine year old boy now had her heart.

Today, I met that nine year old boy. He told me that because he had my best friend's heart, he'd be my best friend now.

My best friend and him GMH.

Touching isn’t it? Well… Always check out the website when you are free :)

Too much?

2011-07-27T12:33:00.001+08:00

I wonder if I am trying very hard to kill myself next semester. Yet, I can’t wait for school to start.

My timetable is screwed MAX with no free day, long period of breaks between lessons. Actually I do have one on Mondays, but I slot an ARTS GEM in, so it became no free day. GOON. Anyway, if I take up Muay Thai, I still have to return to school on Monday for it anyway. And so, my screwed to the Max timetable.

As usual, I work during the weekends but I just resigned from JE and so my Saturday evenings from the 20th of Aug will be FREEE! Happy?? Well. No sure. The reason behind the resignation is actually NUStudios. I am SUPER DUPER excited about this CCA! It’s like backstage and film production. COOL MAX!

Till now, that’s 2 CCAs and normal school curriculum. THEN, to make life a little fuller, Yanting and I would be joining on of the volunteer initiative by CSC might be going to MINDSVILLE/IMH :) That falls on a SAT. And so,quitting from JE did not really spare me much free time after all. Well… at least I am doing something I like instead of arguing and getting scolding and black faces from weird doctors.

So now, 3 CCA commitments and normal school curriculum. As you might know, I am trying very hard to be financially independent. So, I have to earn money! By quitting JE on sat I am earning $240 less every month. So, no income, die! Hence, I took up a tuition job. You know, to cover my opp cost lost from resignation. I am suppose to teach the kid on tuesday and friday evenings. Then I am continuing my sunday morning clinic work at MRT. And to make my life more complicated, YT and signed up for ushers under CFA *faints*. You have to clock 12hours a week. Each session is about 4 hours and that means 3 evenings gone.

I don’t need good maths to know that in a 7 day week, all evenings are burnt.

Mon- Muay Thai, Tues- Tuition, Wed- Ushers (maybe?), Thurs- Tutorial, Fri- Tuition, Sat- Ushering (maybe?), sun- Usher.

I might not get through the interview for ushering because there is a super high probability that I cannot clock the 12hours because events don’t occur everyday!

Then, I still have my academic goals. I have at least 4 projects coming up next sem. I wonder if my grades will plunge, or maybe avalanche. SHRUGS. I hope to improve my CAP for the coming semester to 2nd upper. But with these things at hand, can I juggle my balls well? Is it true that when you have no time, you will start to cherish the time you have? Is it true that because you have too much commitments, you will use your free time to do productive things? I am afraid that I will use my free time to daydream, stone off, watch TV, surf the net and do all those unproductive things other than studying.

Is this too much to cope? I am trying very hard to kill myself, ain’t I? Is it too much? I hope I can be as happy as that women up there when I start juggling everything. :)

Dilemma

2011-07-19T14:07:00.001+08:00

I am sure I posted something along this line around this period last year. The question forever bothering me. Should I quit my work at the clinic. It’s kind of difficult to weigh out the pros and cons of it, the opportunity cost. Well, the pro of course would be an income where you can cover your daily expenses as well as save up some to buy stuff. I do have a goal to reach about the amount of money in my bank account by the end of the year. If I were to quit, if would mean the amount would be shrinking and I wouldn’t reach my goal! My pocket money is barely enough to feed me. Not blaming my parents for the miserable pocket money because I feel Uni is the time your wings grow hard and you should learn to be independent in all ways.

But if I don’t quit, my weekends would be burnt and I thinking next semester is a project semester. It kind of suck if you cannot find a common time for group meetings and I don’t want to be a contributing factor. Afterall, isn’t weekends the better days to meet up from project work? Weekdays seems impossible with the screwed up timetable of everyone. Also, I want to join CCA this sem. Life gets boring if you go to school just for studying and project, I have experienced it last sem and it almost killed me. :(

So Yanting and I has agreed to join NUS CSC and one of their initiatives for a regular volunteering activity and I told her I might join a sports too and NUStage if I get through auditions or even see it in the matric fair :) Then yesterday Kaylene suggested Rovers which I have been wanting to join since last year but no one is interested. IF I join all this, I am not sure if working at the clinic on weekends is feasible. I do have academic goals too.

Hoping to juggle as many balls as I can next semester and it all boils down to time management. Crucial. And I hope with all my might that nothing clashes with anything:) Kindly make my life better. I don’t need friends, all I need is a fulfilling life. Friends come and go (don’t argue, I’ve seen it multiple times) but impact stays forever. Like I posted few weeks ago… that’s why I admire Wayne Lim. :)

Majulah!

2011-07-17T22:34:00.002+08:00

So there is this gaga over the national day fun pack song. Finally, I heard the song today on youtube:) So since I am already watching some NDP stuff, I searched for past NDP songs! Bought back alot of memories and I am so glad I still remember those songs. (Home not to say) I even remembered where I belong, we will get there and for one moment I was wondering what is moments of magic. Then… OH! It goes like this, ‘let us celebrate this moments a brand new day await….’ Yipeee!

Then, for some reason, I drifted away from NDP songs and ended up watching this video. It’s kind of old and I am sure alot has seen it before, but I just post for the benefit of those who hasn’t seen it before :)

Well… I wasn’t really joking when I say that I am proud to be a Singaporean. Sometimes I am not because of those doings of Singaporeans, but more often than not, I am proud to be a SINGAPOREAN! :)

TRANSFORMERS

2011-07-07T22:29:00.001+08:00

Just came back from the movies! whoo-hoo! Transformers are just nice! and I kind of like the male lead (SAM) as well as the army guy leading the troops (Lennox). Well just in case you don’t know who I am talking about, Sam is the one in the middle of the poster and Lennox is the one on his right, your left :)

I watched it 3D but was terribly disappointed with the effects! it doesn’t really POP out as I expected it to and the things flying around, don’t seems like it’s gonna hit you anyway. Subtitles did pop out really well that it looks kind of disjoint with the movie though. So much for watching an action-packed movie 3D. Well… however, I was sitting in front, the fifth row from the front, maybe the 3D effect isn’t good. If you have gotten a better seat away from the main screen, maybe the effects would be better. Who knows :)

There is always a saying that sequels of a movie usually gets worse. Well. Evident from Spiderman. First and second was superb but what’s with the last one? But I think transformers kind of broke it. The first one is nice, second one is awesome and the third is fantastic other than the part where Megan Foxx is no longer playing in it. I actually prefer Megan Foxx to that new girl.

Well then. Not going to discuss about plots and scenes in the movie here. But recommended. 6 bucks is worth the watch but not 11bucks in 3D. I think the next time I step into a cinema again, it would be HP7. (No. It’s not the computer brand name or it’s new series. LOL)

Admiration

2011-06-30T22:17:00.001+08:00

“For when I am weak

then I am strong

我脆弱却不退缩”

<I AM> -JJ Lin

落在手裡一顆淚滴清澈地卻已融化
活在人間我的壓力和疑惑
愛和理想怎麼評量
闖過難關避開受傷
其實我和凡人都一樣
擔心路會走錯方向
擔心她不放在心上
擔心生命不再充滿渴望
For when I'm weak Then I am strong
我脆弱卻不退縮
確定路在對的方向
確定她在我的心上
確定生命永遠有希望
For when I'm weak Then I am strong
我脆弱卻不退縮
我脆弱卻永不退縮

One will admire another when he or she reflects your dreams. I am not saying that I dream to be an entertainer, singing and dancing in front of people, but yes, the man above in the picture reflects what I dream to be or rather someone I hope to become, an impact.

“We are all placed on earth to leave imprints on each others' lives.
Life is about creating something out of nothing, stick to it and keep working on it.

I make music...
I weave dreams...
I live to capture life...

I struggle, but I break free...
I fall, but I get up stronger...
I sleep, but I never stop...

I die, but I live forever...

No one can stop you unless you stop yourself, No one will push you unless you push yourself. The choice is yours.”

-JJ Lin

No, I did not regret or hate my mum for not bringing me for music lessons but I will definitely send my child for music lessons in the future, piano, violin or flute. Learning music enhance one’s mind and encourages the mind’s creativity. His musical talent is international, more people loves his music than his person. I dream to be someone talented in something. I used to dance (Chinese dance), I used to play Netball, I used to be sociable. But I excel in none. I have no outstanding talent that he posses.

I dream to impact the society but till today with my youth almost gone, I have yet to do anything that is worth a mention or a memory. What a failure. But him, although his career only took flight in 2004 after the release of the River South, at least he is now a national treasure and a proud Singapore ‘export’. Even before entering the entertainment circle, he already threw a bomb in, a song he composed known as 记得 which hit the charts even till today. He left an impact in Singapore, Taiwan, China and many other parts of Asia. I have read article about how his music help people tide over moments of distress and depression even though it’s a little extreme but at least he caused changes in people, he impacted their lives. What about me? 1/4 of my life is a mundane wake up go school home and sleep. No one remembers me, and no one ever will.

Everyone dreams to be successful, who doesn’t. His success did not come easy. His first album in 2003 was a total failure, but he was thankful to River South that made it. An entertainer’s lifespan works the same way as the economic business cycle, at least for him. He did not stay at the peak of his career all along, he had an album dip in 2007 with his 5th Album ‘Killer’ but that did not end him. He went back to who he really was, not the actor, not the entertainer, but the Singaporean, JJ Lin. He came back with his 6th Album in 2008 ‘Sixology’ promoting the spirit of the bull, never give up. He turned a military concept of Still Moving UnDer GunfirE (SMUDGE) into his fashion label SMG. You might think he is lucky, but he is far far away from it. When everything seems well, ‘death god’ came to knock on his door, a long-term gastric problem turned too serious that he burnt his throat and lost his voice. He literally faded and disappeared out of the scene and faded into his own world of darkness, that was in 2009, his all time low. The future seems bleak to him, he has no idea what to do. Everyday, the first thing he does when he wakes up is to sing, but nothing came out, I am sure at some point of your time, you will experience this helplessness. This is what makes me like him even more, he did not give up from here, he rise stronger, reborn. In 2009, 100 days was swept off the shelves in a matter of days, his 8 months perseverance, his motivation his ability to cope and walk out of those grey days really made me think, people have gone through so much and came back stronger, what are you doing? Beaten down by a mere sucky a levels? I am not only saying JJ, I am saying even normal people who had difficulties in daily life did not just sit at home, rotting and waiting for government welfare but they work and volunteer and made their life full, what about me? Depression from school? I ought to be ashamed of myself.

Well after the huge success of 100 days, you might still think he got lucky, yet he is still far away from lucky. Caught with H1N1, stuck in a New York Blizzard and a horrendous health report screams a halt in his career. He is now taking a break and I strongly believe, he will come back with even more impactful live stories and touching music.

His journey is not smooth and will never be but he never give up, he dies but he lives forever. I am seeing him to what I want to become, yet something I can’t achieve. Maybe… that’s why I admire.

How I wish I can just walk out of the grey cloudy days and embrace my everyday. But… I can’t. I am stuck in a quicksand slowly devouring me and one day I might just give up struggling and sink in deep and forgotten by everyone.

Farewell, my old friend…

2011-06-24T23:22:00.001+08:00

缘分是别离的开始

Humans form social bonds with people, that’s basic survival. Yet, I hate to form social bonds because I am afraid of separation, because I care. I have shared my thoughts, my feelings and sometimes my dreams with you, but yet after all, you left, leaving me all alone to face the world. Sometimes, when I become too dependent on you, I am lost when you leave, my north star is gone. That’s why, I never take the first initiative for a meet-up. To me, one day, everyone leaves you, so why put in so much to maintain. I know I sound selfish, but this is a psychological barrier that I failed to overcome on top of the so many.

My colleague is going back to China. She is someone whom I feel always have a piece of her mind, she is someone whom you can always turn to for advice, she has experienced some life that I haven’t and she is far-sighted. I consulted her quite a lot of times when I become indecisive and she doesn’t tell me what to do but lead me to what I really want. Someone that I like is going off, our paths might no longer cross, we might not meet again, I really don’t want her to leave. Really.

I distaste going to work these days because works gets harder and harder when the passion is no longer there. Hers leaving is not the reason but I no longer grab every chance I have to work. I am really getting sick and tired of being stuck between doctors and patients, I am sick and tired of being so patient and put on a smile even though my day went totally wrong. Now, I rather sit in an office and face the wall or computer and not people or slack at home and not do anything.

我要的到底是什么? Destination unknown. I don’t know where to go next. What’s around the corner?

A New Beginning

2011-06-22T12:38:00.001+08:00

My new blogskin is out! Nice and simple, just the way I like it :)) This took me a much much lesser time to do as compared to the previous which took me nearly two weeks this only took 3days :)) Yippeeee! Just hope you like it :)) Ohhh… and I miss out the tag board on purpose because I see no point in putting one when only two people comment on my posts.

It’s Sei’s BD yesterday, went for a chill out at blue Jazz bar?? It’s a long time since I see my JC peeps. Although part of me does not want to maintain bonds with them because of the fear of leaving, another part just loves to hang out with them… Kind of contradicting. So, as and when I can, I will always turn up.

I shall change my way of blogging by reducing the amt of words and add in more pictures, make life easier for the readers and as you know, a picture speaks a thousand words. And since I gave so much a space for entries, I shall add colours to it :)

2011-06-19T19:44:00.001+08:00

Last time I posted was on the beginning of June. Given my boring and mundane life, there is not much to tell. Just ended special sem 1. Psychology is really really reallyx100 FUN! But I am actually quite glad that I did not choose psy as my major to study… There is too much to memorise given it’s wide application. :( Kind of a wishful thinking to think that psy is more on disorders… after you take the introductory, disorders are only one chapter out of that 20 over chapters you are to study. OMG!

Anyways, since special sem is over, I have no intention to look for a job, or rather should I say no one wants to hire me, so I am predicting I would be pretty free for July (weekends excluded). =) So it’s time to do something to add some colours to my mundane life. First, I need to get my stamina up so that Huimin doesn't have to wait hours for me on the 10th of July. Priority. Then since there is this training up of stamina, I shall plan some slimming down program (not that I think I will follow it, but it’s worth trying). My excessive fats is irritating me these days.

I have plans to do some voluntary work, but yet to find any interesting events to volunteer for. Might be trying out being an ‘ambassador’ to bring new international freshies around if time permits. And also go for some nature walk to take some photos, ya know, brush up some photography skills and I have already crafted the places I thought of going =) Currently, I am thinking of going alone, but it gets lonely… kind of.

I am thinking of getting a tuition job, emailed the agency but no replies. Just get a little more patience… But I am wondering if I do really get one tuition job, how am I going to teach the kid? what way? What if I don’t know how to do the questions he/she ask me? It makes me kind of a clown. Maybe I think too much yea?

2011-06-08T11:46:00.001+08:00

Another day has gone

I’m still all alone

How could this be

You’re not here with me

You never say goodbye

Someone tell me why

Why you’d have to go

You leave my world cold

Everyday I sit and ask myself

How did love slip away

Something whispers in my ears and say

You are not alone

I am here with you

Though we are far apart

I am here to stay

Just Trying…

2011-06-02T22:33:00.001+08:00

I tried out something known as the live writer into publishing this post… hopes it turns out well though… Haha =D

Anyways, I went for a nature trail walk today and it turned out horrendous. From the lack of planning and preparation. Gonna conquer it next week again. Hopes it turns out better this time. Anyone wants to go together we me? We are walking from vivo to mount faber then to henderson waves, then alexander arch then hort park followed by kent ridge park and end at NUS. Interested souls can message me. LOL.

Okies. This is actually just a trail that I a trying out if the live writter really works. Haha.

oohhhh…. and any souls have interest in going GENTING? I thought we could go for a great escape before school starts and everything starts crushing down again.

2011-05-20T00:28:00.004+08:00

Chance upon this video wondered if any one has watched it before :)

A FLASHMOB IN RAFFLES PLACE!!

Kind of funn actually... Spice up boring life in urban Singapore. Hhaa
How I hope I can be part of it too.
This is actually an advertising technique by HTC yet throughout the whole dance, i didn't see any HTC phone. LOL
So is this a failure?
anywayss... It's so COOL!
People should do this more! and Singaporeans should be more engaged man!

2011-05-11T23:23:00.002+08:00

Went out with HUimin today to queensway... only to realise that the distance between me and the rest of the people thriving in a competitive environment is getting larger and larger. Like what she said, if you think we changed, it's because of our environment. It screams in me that it's time to get independent. Just like what Yanting said, UNi is the time to learn to be independent. I always thought I am, and I think I still am. Just that emotions always and is forever getting in my way toward the utmost independence.

I told her today I felt as though I have wasted my youth away and I really did. I passed my youth without any shocking accomplishment. Didn't earn my first 10K, didn't have any outstanding achievements. Just an average plain Jane that I doubt anyone would remember. That's kind of sad, ya. Hope it's not too late now to make any impact I am intending to make. Still no major plans for any form of achievement.

If environment is a factor, I rather be in a competitive one. At least I wouldn't feel so useless and inferior. At least I wouldn't fear for my future. But, as always. It's an irony that people in the rural areas wants to go urban while urban souls wants to go rural.

Humans are the most complicated beings. One single organism can have multiple personalities. I never believed in psychology test because I always feel that I have multiple personality disorder whenever I do that. One test can produce the opposite result of another. But it could just that I do not have an outstanding ability. Afterall, how well do you know yourself?

INDEPENDENCE. Learn to protect yourself. This is not selfishness but survival.

2011-05-09T23:10:00.002+08:00

This year's GE is kind of crazy...
It make me wonder if I was oblivious to politics in the previous GEs or did this year's GE turn out so happening.

Although Jurong GRC is a clear win for PAP
I think the campagin here sucks.
So much for me being so excited about the election
All I heard was that freaking PAP truck with the loud hailer.
and since Lim Boon Heng step down the new PAP member Desmond Lee is taking over his duties in my Area....
Saddd..... My LBH.

And thanks to the best friend run on sunday, I was at bedok stadium on Saturday night to witness the downfall of George Yeo's team in Aljunied. Witness the bimbo-ness of Tin PeiLing. Yupx. It's a pretty new experience and thrilling to be in such events. It's feels like you are in PAP's 战营 and getting brain washed by the PAP cause when they win, they typically mute the TV and deliver speech (when actually my eyes is on Yam Ah Mee instead). The reaction of the loss in Aljunied at Bedok stadium was epic. Pin drop silence when YAM annouced the vote counts and out of the pin drop silence, you hear two WHOO! from the young spectators there. Kind of fun though.

Next GE when our badge get to vote, PAP gotta do something more than what they are doing now. Only GRCs and SMC in the western area won quite comfortably (mean 60% and above) and the champion came from western Singapore too. Is the westies so fond of PAP? or is the that we have high population of elderies in the west?

Oh... and when I was having my psy tutorial today, my tutor was saying, it's not the younger generation than voted against the PAP. He said he talked to quite a number of his students and they voted for PAP and so who are the ones voting against?? The sandwich class, people who feels the pinch of whatever policy that the government come up with never seems to reach to them. Hhaa.

2011-04-28T21:40:00.003+08:00

YIPEEE!
Cleared 3 papers.
2 more to go.

Well... It's a really bad idea to have a one week break between papers.
cause you have no mood to study...
AT ALL
Just hope I don't flunk my PF1103 and LAT1201.

年少时候谁没有梦
无意之中你将心愿透漏
就在你生日地时候
我将小小口琴送
最难忘记你地笑容
How I wish there is someone that I can sing this song to
Pathetically.

I am very tempted to post something very very personal here.
but without this being password protected.
there is still a risk the person would chance upon this post.
so... I shall hold the post till I start a word press account after my papers
I am still thinking of the web design.
And if I still remembers then what am I about to post today...

爱是愚人的国度
...
爱是自娱自乐演出

2011-04-21T14:02:00.002+08:00

I feel like a nun these few days...
I haven't step out of jurong since saturday.
5days counting down to my first paper...
I can't wait for it to finish and enjoy my 3 months holidays.
Not gonna blog about my plans here because most likely I won't be completing anyone of them.
No point.

Hmm...
I think I studied too much for A-levels
that I am now very reluctant to study...
Although I did not step out of Jurong
I was watching shows at home instead of preparing for my exams.
No exam stress felt
and I am pretty worried about this ignorance.
Staring at the same page of notes for hours with nothing going in
this is bad man.
then.
I want to pull my pathetic CAP up.
not studying. I think i am pulling my CAP down instead.

Going back to stare at economics after lunch.
I want to either maintain or improve...
please don't deprove...

Anyways, I have this urge to start a word press account.
Should I?
Should I not?
We will see then.

Abit of relaxing to do. Listen to some music. Stephanie Sun's new album is not bad.
Try listening 愚人的国度 and 空口言.
I am very lazy to post youtube vedios here.
But I think both MVs are nice to watch =D

加油吧大家！

‘读读读读读到书好想吐好想哭
怕怕怕怕怕老是背书好白痴
你你你你你只会说你要第一
我就快要发扬巅峰’
-会读书（林俊杰）

2011-04-08T23:43:00.003+08:00

Just one moment of weakness.

能不能在哭一下下
把记忆彻底的分化
刚哭完我就会回家
眼泪我会提自己擦

2011-03-20T23:13:00.003+08:00

I don't know how to comfort someone... I don't know if I did the right thing... but I felt kinda bad after that... cause I am of difference with the person I was 'back-stabbing'... So telling her about him is like telling her about me.... Fine. I know you don't know what the hell I am gabbling about :(

Feeling kind of NUAH these days thanks to some food poisoning... I was suppose to start on an asshole lab report like last week but procrastinated till thurs to do it. Yet, thurs I wasn't feeling well enough to even watch a 2.2hr movie without running to the toilet. Friday was typically spent sleeping at home. Literally. I think I have never slept as much as last friday. My sat is usually burnt because of work. So, it wasn't until today that I started on my lab report only to find how much of a horror it was. 88pages report... how on earth is 3 people going to finish by 1st april?! Well... we are able to finish it with sub standard quality maybe? Adding to it... my ssb report is still not finalised :(( Team mate just called to point out one BIG problem about another team mate which was evident to me on day one of our project. But me being me, always chose to ignore what others can't see. Selfish, ain't I? Now, I am eating my own rotten fruits. Well... who to blame? Following week is gonna be one hellish week.

Even though the stress is coming in now, it's still me to blame because all these could have been done smoothly and without any problems if I had planned my time well and not waste it on lazing arounf at home or even stare into my computer day in day out without doing any productive stuff. Who to blame? Myself again.

While I was having a temper with the 88pages report, I went onto the youtube (forever my fav site) and scouted on you-know-who and thought I should put this up. I couldn't stop laughing...

He should pay a fortune to buy this back... Haha :) The next one is pretty long and hence not recommended to watch unless you are super free.

He never fails to brighten up my day. Why oh why.... I wonder...

2011-03-06T18:51:00.003+08:00

There are times in one's life that you find that you are aimless. Your life becomes such a routine that you don't even need to think or plan about where you are going next, cause you are going nowwhere. That's what I am feeling now. :(

I need to re-ignite my passion for something, there are so many things that I want to try yet I don't have the courage to. I act as though I am happy with my current status but deep down I am not, Tan Bei Yi wants a more fruitful life than the one she is currently in.

I need to be more determine to finish a task. I always leave things hanging because my thoughts drifted away. I never get things complete.

I need to find my goal in life, because it would be my north star to success. I don't want to be an aimless wanderer.

I hate to be alone, yet I don't take the first step. I act as though I am Chirppy dosen't mean thats me. I am just a lady who lack confidence, who have no interest in anything, who thinks she failed the world.

I know complaining with no actions does no good. I have been asked, is this a fact or a psychological problem. I myself know it's the latter, but I don't know how to change.

I hate to feel inferior to people yet I want to be humble. Contradicting. How I wish I had just half of HIS confidence. How I wish...

"When I am weak, then I am strong. 我脆弱却不退缩."

2011-01-31T17:48:00.002+08:00

Changes.

Keeping a social life in Uni is hard.
Maybe I didn't make an effort to do that
but...
It's also maybe I don't want to do that...
The people I hang out with last Sem is already very small.
A trip overseas for the whole dec makes things worst.

School started before I even had a chance to breathe
and I found out how alone I am without the Hall and coursemates.
I chose to take modules different from theirs
and because of our timetables, tutorials slots are also different.
I can't see sustainability in this friendship.
It's something like a touch and go.
A hi-bye.

Changes.

Have I changed?
No idea.
Success is a matter of Strategy and Habits.
You cannot bring your old habits into a new environment.
Association is also very important.
Mix with the right people.
Recently, I have been bombed down with life triggers I would say.
Some words that people say that would inspire you to work towards your goals.
Negativity is a pattern, you cannot eliminate negativity but you can displace them.
You are born to win but conditioned to fail.
No one can make you upset unless they get your permission
People don't know how much you care until you show them.
Later, tomorrow and yesterday means never

I hope I have changed to a better person.
I hope I will change to a better person.
变化。

"I do not fear the man who does 10,000 different kick but I fear the man who does the same kick 10,000 times." -Bruce lee.

People, it's time to change. :)
Love.

2011-01-16T22:36:00.002+08:00

Do you have dreams?
When you were 5, what are your dreams?
When you were 10, what are your dreams?
When you are 20, what would be your dreams?
When you are forty, what dreams would you have left?

People shrink their dreams to meet reality.
So do I.
I don't have a strong dream.
When I was 10, I dreamt of being a marine biologist.
But my mum said, you will not have rice to eat.
When I was 14, I dreamt of being a Interpol investigator/FBI.
But my grades told me, you are not observant enough.
When I was 16, I dreamt of being a physiotherapist.
But my parents said, please don't waste your time.
When I was 18, my dream was to be a construction project manager.
No one opposed to that. But I did recieve opposition when I chosed SDE over FASS.
Now I am 19, what's my dream?
Simple.
To lead a live of freedom.

Financial Freedom
Illness freedom
Freed from family problems
All kinds of freedom

Do you know what's the root cause of all problems?
MONEY

Money can cause all evil. It can break a family apart
It can cause people lose their lives cause they couldn't afford their medical expenses
It can cause people to live in poverty

But money dosen't drop from the sky.
I strongly believe in "Nothing ventured, nothing gain"

Without sowing, you won't reap.

有钱可以似鬼推磨
Heard of this before?
I might be money minded
But I know what money can do for all of us
Who dosen't like money?
You need money to realise your dreams no matter how small it is.
Your dreams might be just getting a well-paid job. You still need money to get a degree at least.
You need money to support your daily expenses.
Please don't tell me you food and housing dropped from the sky or god gave it to you.
If you are a filial child
You need money to support your parents such that they can retire and enjoy life instead of bringing back money to feed you and in return you complained that they don't care about you.

Something I have come across towards the end of last year might change me into someone you have never known, but I did not and will not regret.

Someone told me this today.
"If you did not make a concious decision to live a life of greatness, you have made the decision to be poor"

2010-11-18T17:32:00.002+08:00

I am too niave....
So niave that I think I can be called STUPID.
I think I trust people too easily...
I get cheated too easily...

You came to ask HOW.
I explained to you.
Yet, you don't understand.
I offered you a reference.
I am not sympathetic because you are not doing well
everyone has their strengths and weakness in various subjects
I understand this.
So, I am helping you because I treat you as a friend.

A friend should help others when they need it.
So, I offered what I can for you.
My own work.
For REFERENCE.

That's a very open topic.
You can simply talk anything under the sun.
I sent you my work to let you see how I did it.
NOT FOR YOU TO COPY.

I wrote about electricity.
You talked about electricity.
I am fine with that.
Someone else out there would also be doing electricity.

BUT.
Why on earth is our application similar?!
Do you know how betrayed I felt when I saw your document?
Do you know how betrayed I felt when I saw your message?
All I felt at that moment was ANGER.

It came to me...
You came to ask for my help.
I did.
You said to trust you that you won't copy.
You just want see how things are done.
I did.

And in return for this favor
I open the document to see a similar report.
My one week of hardwork
became your report?
Your two days work?

You can talk about anything.
Even if its electricity
You can talk about something else.
Electricity has so many application
When I open the document
The topic of research is the same
The application is also about the same
At that moment
All I think of is...
我太天真了...

Do you know that a trust is broken here?
A trust takes 10years to build and one day to tear.
How do you expect me to trust you anymore?
Betrayal is all I feel now.

Maybe I misunderstood you
But I am sure that's not the case.
This is not the first time.
One assignment
we sent each other ours answers to compare.
And when you sent yours 2 days after we sent you.
I realised... Why are some of my answers in yours answers too?
I decided that it's ok. Those answers are quite standard.
This time.
I think it went over...
too over...
Unless you tell me that you are already thinking of doing static electricity from day 1
I have nothing to say
just that we think alike
but I know that's not the case.
You don't know what to do.
You asked me
I said electricity.
And the next thing i know
You are doing electricity too
and the next thing I know
we are both doing static electricity.

I really don't understand why did you do this to me.
But from today on
don't expect me to send you anything for reference.

From today on. Reference in my dictionary is the same as copying of ideas.

We might fall out after this event.
But currently
I don't care.
I don't need someone like you.
Someone who breaks trust.
Someone I trusted so much.

I will not be so niave anymore...

2010-11-09T20:03:00.002+08:00

Recently, I've been listening to some old song by JJ Lin. Just post a few songs here.
I still don't know why I like him so so so so much... :X

Now that She's Gone. I find this song very touching... Maybe cause I took one module on visualization in design and technology, I can visualize damn clearly the scenes of this song --> My imaginary scenes. LOL... Actually not related at all... That asshole module has nothing to do with visualization in design and tech...

Trapped.

This is one song that I always liked. And so... It shall be put here so I will not go youtube and search it then end up watching other things...zzz...

OOHHHH!!! FINALS ARE COMING!!! I AM FEELING IT! THE STRESS.... oopppsss...

Anyways... For people who are feel depressed about issues... Don't have the thought of ending life. Recently I watched a show (fake one) and there is this quote the death girl always say

"不要轻易呼唤死亡你想变成石头吗？"

"我是奈何桥的守护者只有在你渡不过的时候我才会变成死神"

So people... THINK TWICE... think twice...

2010-10-31T23:06:00.002+08:00

I am SUPPOSED to draw my 59 figures like NOW. Instead, I came to BLOG. One of the 9 PMBOK processes, TIME MANAGEMENT.

Why am I in project and facilities management when I can't even manage my own life? LOL.

Anyway, I am living the the heart of a tornado. A tornado destroys everything in its path and the safest place to be is to be in its heart. My friends are stressed up by sucky mid terms and upcoming end term and projects. It's a PHEW that I have FINALLY cleared my PF1102 project and got shoot big time by the teacher. Yet, I am not feeling stressed up at all (that's why I am blogging instead of drawing!) I think I am going to DIE for end sems. Oopss...

I think I aim too high for me to even reach it's TIP. But what's the purpose of life without a AIM? AIMS are supposed to be unreachable. If you can reach it, it's not an aim. I think I heard it from Adam Khoo course I suppose. I am aiming for a First Class (too high, too high for the situation now) but looks like it's just a dream that will never come true? AIMS should be set high to be unreacheable BUT it must have the illusion that it is reachable so that we don't feel dejected everytime.

Ohhh.... and for the last post, it's Que Sera NOT Que SARAH.... LOL. I feel like banging my head on the wall.

Anyways, GAMBATTE to all. NUS for End term, NTU for MID terms and your end term in DEC.

Life past in a flash, cherish it.

Once I recieved a letter to SMG labels. And it wrote, "Only a dead man has seen the end of war." Every moment of live, we are in a survival war. Only when you die, you see the end. :)

Quitters never win, Winners never quit.

I am proud to be a EMP-er =D

2010-10-21T08:17:00.002+08:00

Great spirit or mediocre mind. Which one are you?

Yesterday there was this supposely inspirational talk at Eusoff formal dinner. While... I think I have a mediocre mind. That's why I wasn't listening to the talk. Anyways, today morning over breakfast, I don't know why our talk went into academic grades. But we where talking about this girl who had to S/U one of her A- module to sustain a 5.0 CAP.

So I commented that that is a damn stupid thing to do. Getting 5.0 CAP and 4.5 CAP, it's still a first class hounors. Then I said, getting Bs you still can get a second class hons which is relatively good and evelyn agreed. And Yanting said, satisfying which what you currently have and not moving forward is a thought of a mediocre mind. I said I would be satisfied with getting Bs which I think it's relatively a good grade (provided you see how scary the bell-curve of that module is) and Yanting rebutted. You got you B because of moderation. Which means, half of the cohort is better that you, what is there to feel satisfied about? It's not the grades, you can be getting 27/30 which is obviously an A but get a B because of the bell curve. You yourself is contented with the 27 marks, but as compared to the cohort, you are lousy, half of the cohort own you.

And then I was wondering, why the hell is there a bell curve here?! Competitiveness... Why does the education system wants to achieve by being such acedamic oriented? The country looks at grades, the society looks at grades, you look at grades, everyone looks at grades, but who knows how much effort you had put in, how good your results are supposed to be. This place leaves no room for error. One mistake and out you go.

I am hitting the bare minimum on the B bell curve, but I am contented, cause I am getting the results I wanted, but not the grades....Hiaz... maybe I have a mediocre mind. I don't belong here...

Recently, Ms Chua posted something on facebook:

"Que Sarah, sarah, whatever will be will be, the future not ours to see, what will be will be."

2010-09-29T23:15:00.002+08:00

Self protection is often necessary, especially when you are all alone.

Psychological walls are easy to build but difficult to tear. 8 months of recuperation, the walls are up in just 2months. Why? I want to protect myself. Protect myself from the harm, the pain that others will give to me.

I never wanted a strong bond between people because I am afraid that you will leave one day... Away from me, to lead your own life. I want to protect myself from this pain.

I never wanted to risk because I am afraid of the consequences if all fails. I am protecting myself form harm.

I never wanted to talk first because I am afraid of your first impression on me. I am protecting myself.

I never wanted to express myself because I am afraid that you will hate who I really am. I am just protecting myself from harm.

Psychological walls are build for a reason. My reason. To protect myself. I need no effort to build walls, but I need tremendous amount of effort to tear down the walls... Why on earth am I letting the walls up again? Am I prepared for a war that I have to lock all gates?

I am just afraid where my threshold lies. I have a bad feeling that if things exceeds threshold, I LOSE EVERYTHING... EVERYTHING

我已经习惯了
改不了了
为什么你们要这样对我
你们知不知道我有多难受
明明是朋友
为什么我种觉得格格不入

不是我要把心墙拉起
是逼不得已

拜托你们不要再伤害我了

2010-09-23T15:03:00.005+08:00

一个又一个排队等缘分
前面丢后面捡
捡到的变恋人丢的变路人

走了一个忘了一个才懂眼泪对自己最残忍

Why should I feel down because of you.
I am not going to torture myself.
All because of you...

Give me time...
I will get it over with...
This sucks...

I want to learn to draw a line between like and love...
I thought I know...
But now...
I realise...
I DON'T...

SCREW IT.

我没有说谎请别以为你有多难忘

2010-09-18T02:20:00.008+08:00

Have you ever felt this sense of empty that will make you feel outcasted?? I am feeling this right now... but I can't pin point the reason...

I am not outcasted... but I suddenly feel tired to even say a single word or talk to you... I suddenly feel I couldn't take it anymore... I suddenly get an emotional wave that I myself don't understand...

I am down today... Luckily there Universal Studio today... which made me feel a little bit better as I get to see Cheryl and Hsier... :))) and this is the first time to universal studio, I think the rides are just so so... the mummy ride which many say is suppose to be the most exciting one... I think ok only leh....

Adding this one... I am down for two day in one week since I step into UNI... This shall not continue... I am not going to emo at one corner like what I did back then... I tried... But I think I am just not a social person... I suppose I don't leave a good impression for people :(

Why can't you share your problems with me?
Why can't you just talk more to me?
Why do you influence my thoughts?
Why do I care so much about you?
Can you please tell me the answer?

为什么我只有单恋和暗恋的分而没有恋爱的分？

2010-09-08T00:00:00.002+08:00

I smiled and say goodbye to you and from the moment I turn, the smile faded into a string of curse....

I can't help but blog about how pissed I am an hour ago such that I am thinking about how to blog about my pissness in the bathroom...

Let me tell you what the **** happened just now.... I was suppose to go for IFG netball today, we are scheduled for match at 7 and 8. So I packed my happy went down to the netball courts. And in the end I came back to Eusoff without a single bead of sweat. Why? Cause I didn't play a single match. We played 8 quarters for god sake and I play none? I know my skills are lousy to the core... But shouldn't you guys at least let me play a quarter??? So much for me going to all their trainings... I only missed the last training which i suppose is the most crucial training yesterday and I felt as though I am a lost sheep neglected by the farmer... No one talked to me, no one care about me... their players are so damn tired after 8 quarters and they still insist on putting them in when Camillie and Me was sitting down there not playing any single game... If you have no intention to put us in, please inform us so that we wouldn't have to waste our time looking at your lousy skills! And what pissed me off the most is that I turned up for their trainings when no freshmen came.... I seriously don understand what's wrong with their negligence to me... just because I didn't turn up for training yesterday? FUCK OFF! At first all I wanted was the IFG tee.... then after a few trainings, I felt that yes I want to play for SDE... and this is what I got for being so enthu? THANKS ALOT! I REALLY APPRECIATE IT!!

Even now I still feel damn pissed off... Thinking if I shall turn up tml... Cause I really wanna play :(

And today... I found out how small the world is.... I saw someone that I didn't think I would see again... I thought after JVS netball, our paths would never cross again... then while we were playing Bizad... I was looking at the GS and look turn into stare and then OMG! SHE LOOK DAMN FAMILIAR!!! then next moment.... OMFG! she is adeline.... and her shooting is omg de good lahx... for the last quater, she shot 10 goals in 7mins.... damn good... seriously... Had a short talk with her :))

There is a dark angel in me saying... SERVE YOU RIGHT SDE, FOR NOT WINNING....

Ahem... Yesterday's informal dinner for EMP is damn nice.... Looks like I got a cool and fun team to work with :) I am damn excited about going to LAOS now... but pretty horrified that it's a three weeks trip.... afterall, i haven been to a third world country... and when I go... I am going for full 3 weeks!!! Anyway.. I am still excited... be it the planning... the pre event and event itself.... I am really looking forward to it.... and I think I am damn lucky to be in... cause there is like damn little freshmen... I wonder what makes me stand out from the other 60plus people and be the 22 ones going to Laos.... and the idea of spending my 19th Birthday in LAOS excites me even more!!!! =DDDDD OMG! I can't contain my excitement!!!!!

I decided to withdraw from Eusoff Sports Management Commitee... Cause I have been saying I need to get my piorities right.... I think school, work and EMP is enough for me to juggle at this point of time... I no need another Eusoff SCM to bomb me down.... I hope I made the right choice... I hope with all my might I wouldn't regret from withdrawing from SCM...

2010-09-06T18:06:00.002+08:00

It has been one month since school started for me... But it felt as though school started for years... Let me see what I have now in hand to do... Hmm.... Two projects, one term paper, 2 assignments. Yupx.... and two mid term test coming up...

Current status?
Haven't start a single shit of revision. I seriously don't believe that I am that busy that I don't have time to sit down and study.... I strongly believe that it's because of time management. My time management is damn bad... So what am I doing about it? Nothing. Maybe it's cause I am too tired such that the moment I hit the bed, I slept through to morning. People with insomia could try staying in hall. You wouldn't have problems sleeping, I guarantee. Well... and I need alot of sleep... Nights at Eusoff is so happening that you seriously cannot study at night. So it's only left with the days. I have long breaks between lesson which is like nice hour to mug... but... I don't know what the hell I am doing...

Wed is suppose to be my free day... and ya... I did study... But some how or another, someone or something will happen in eusoff and I cannot study anymore... Hiaz...

I must learn to get my piorities right.

PF1102 is fun... but why do I get such a rigid as a wall tutor? Hmm...
ST1131 is already boring enough... Why do I get a even boring and robot teacher? I actually shaded many disagrees in her evaluation sheet :X
PC1326 is boring and crazy.. but why do I get a good tutor?
GEK1527 has a good lecturer... But why do I always fall asleep in his lecture??
PF1101 is ____ can't use a word to decribe...

Complains, complains and more complains... When would I learn to look into the root of the problem and stop complaining?

Off to Dinner... I am in Project EMP to Laos... Happy about getting in... Sad that I don't know a single soul there :( Anyway... make friends... Introvert is not an excuse...

2010-08-20T23:00:00.002+08:00

YOG has officially ended with hugs and kisses and new friends found. One bad thing about being a bike marshal is that all you see is the athelete ZOOM past you even before you take a good look at their faces... So yanting was like commenting this this this person is damn cute... then I was like... I only had time to identify their countries... Anyway... Jap won the women's and New Zealand won the males. Team Relay (yes there is such thing), America won. I think the team relay is pretty crap actually...

There is a total of 3 race days and on the first which is the women's competition, the volunteer system was so damn screwed up that the bike marshals are still at the carpark waiting for the leader when the YOuths arrived... and by the time we are deployed... The atheletes are already warming up.... second day and third was better, but we got depolyed at 7 when the race only starts at 9... so I was so damn bored that I sang JJ's album from No.1 to No.7 and played sudoku. Somehow I think yanting's job as a manual timing staff is more fun... at least can see handsome guys can...

Then there's a crash during the female games that cause Singapore to came in last :( and Clara Wong cycled 3km with a punctured wheel from the crash... cause the nearest wheel station is like 3km away... and according to Yanting, when she changed from bike to run... the 27th runner has already come back... and mind you... there is like only 30 ppl competing :( Jap won and the girl is damn pretty... and really got the high school look... Hmm... if you realised... most of the athelete for this YOG don't look like thier age...

Then the guys... I donno what position did Scott Ang get... but one of the last... nothing much about the guys... but Arron Barclay is already in the lead during cycling... so I wasn't suprise that he won though... hahaa.... and kevin macdowell is cool...

Team relay was yesterday... the team relay went like that.... the best two males and females of Asia forms Asia team 1 and then best two males and females in Europe forms Europe team 1.... so everyone was divided into continent... competitor who does not get into their continents team cause their timing is too bad forms the world team (psst... both Singaporean are in the World Team). So the race went like that... I think it's pretty crap cause you don't need the race to start to know that which continents will be in the lead.... So... the race started... by the time the second player cycled, there are gaps all over the place... Usually they come in packs... like one pack... then half a min later the second pack... but this relay... it's many many small packs... and America, Oceania, Europe and Asia was leading in the first pack... Wah... the jap girl is really pro man... she is taking the lead... maybe a half second lead only lahx... but Asia was already lagging from the first bid. By the time the third player comes to the bike course, it's only left with America, Oceania and Europe competing... Aisa? Now where to be found. I think Asia's 3rd leg is not very good... cause according to Yanting, the jap lady came in first.... then by the time the 4th player cycle past... America OWNED the game... Oceania's last leg happen to be Arron Barclay... but too large a distance to catch up though... sad... and so... let's get back... WHERE ON EARTH IS SINGAPORE? Last... cannot blame... They already lost in the first leg... :( Scott Ang was the last leg... and you know wad... he cycled past me as though he is leisure cycling lahx... I got a nice look at him... The everyone waited for him seh... so dua pai! Then yanting told me that she can actually understand why this happens lahx... it's like half the competitors already changed from bike to run and he is still waiting at the start point waiting for the third leg to come back... OMG... if it's me I would also sian diao one lolx....

So YOG ended nice... I enjoyed although I had problems waking up at 4am in the morning and the food is not so nice.... but... I really enjoyed it...

And thanks to YOG, I haven attended any of my PF1102: Fundamentals of project management..... Thanks arh... my foundation is going to be rotten... and I think I am pretty hard working to even attend lecture after my duty... haha... also cause I also donno wad to do in the hostel... so just go chit chat lolx... Not that I have listened to any lectures till now... now I understand why my seniors said there is no need to atten lecture... cause the lecturer is like talking to himself and you can just walk out in front of his eyes... but i feel guilty not listening and then today's stats I was trying to make sense out of what the lect is saying... but I don understand... siao liao... tut no need do lerx....

Staying in Eusoff Hall is so damn FUN!!! But to ex lerx... My house dosen't print notes for god sake... I almost got a heart attack when I got the bills... OMG.... and they are like increasing the price next sem can... if they lower the price maybe I might consider staying... cause it's reallt fun and full of activities everyday.... I haven't been in my room at nights before 11 cause the hall is very happening having Inter-block games... Since last monday...I had Handball, volleyball and netball matches.... :) and you get to eat and chit chat with people... FUN FUN FUN!!! But too ex... I can't pay that much for fun... and I concluded that staying is hostel although fun... you don get to study.... I don listen in lecture, I don revise in my room... am I like getting myself ready to get kick out of PFM??? and I although I don believe this came out of Yanting's mouth... but she said staying in hall made her realise the importance of studying... maybe cause I still dosen't have any exams or tut... I don't feel the stress she is having now...

Ok... this is like a damn long post... cause too much happend this week... imagine. Monday- YOG woke up at 4am and then at night opening ceremony until 9plus. Tues- Handball game till 11. Wed- Volleyball game till 11. Thurs- YOG at 4am, handball game till 11. Fri-Netball till 11. This is fun and full of life... but at the same time... it get kill from the lack of sleep... I am so damn glad that I had wed free. I slept through wed... like a dead lock... Poor Yanting... i bet she is damn tired... she said staying in hall is like a never ending camp... You lack sleep everyday... But I told her... After YOG and IBG... you can experience peace and sleep... =D

2010-08-12T22:19:00.003+08:00

Maybe I haven't been schooling for like full 8 months.... That's why it's pretty hard to adapt to current schooling.... :(

My timetable sucks I agree... But since I am staying in a hostel, it dosen't matter to me if I have like 4 hours intervals between lessons... Cause I can simply go back my room and slack... and my friends too... just come in and chit chat and slack...

But the feeling of school has started is abit... I don't know how to put it into words... but it feels like BOOMS and everything fell down on your shoulders... not a burden... it's just something that takes some time to relief bahx... or maybe I got myself into too much commitments... YOG is taking up quite abit of my time as well as sleep... I personally think that first lects are not really impt lahx... and uni lect are very likely to be webcasted... So no worries... but I don't know where my worry lies... good thing tut haven't start yet...

Eusoff hall is fun... I just had my IBG tryout yesterday... tried handball, FLOORBALL, netball and volleyball.... hahaa... long time since I play sports though.... one good thing about staying in a hostel is that you can always find sports kahkis... I am pretty suprised that my block has quite a number of past netballers... :) YEAH! we will win the IBG... haha...

I am tiredddddd =( from YOG actually.... took an half hour power nap this afternoon before going to class... if not by now I might just be on my bed lerx lolx.... hahaa... Missed the Eusoff Bash at Butter Fac cause I am too shag and dowan go spoil atmosphere lahx... tml still have to wake up early.... for YOG....

haiz... hope everything will smooth sail after my volunteering work ends...

Trying to struggle between school, work and life.... why can't they compromise?

2010-08-07T23:53:00.002+08:00

I always wanted to put up a post... but I am just too busy... What am I dong for the past few weeks? Hmm... I can't remember... your friend here has really bad memory... Maybe that's why she couldn't survive Singapore education... HOHOHO!

Hmm... I donno where to start... So I shall start with the most recent one... Yesterday was NUS ANNUAL RAG DAY and also some YOG torch relay thingy day... I SERIOUSLY CAN'T BELIEVE SDE LOST RAG!!! Ours is really damn nice... wait till my senior uploads the videos and pics... i will post it up here... even seiyu and yanting says it's nice.... But i didn't stay for full RAG though... cause I gotta rush off for work... :( anyway... I think I can watch it on youtube anyway.... HIHO HIHO ALL THE WAY WE GO! School of Med did quite well too... their dance esp cheerleading is superb... You really couldn't believe those would be our future DOCS.... OMG! Faints... too bad they didn't win... BUT I SERIOUSLY HAVE NO IDEA WHY DID SCI WIN MAN! Their float is like... dance so-so only... Our dance might not be as nice as some but our float is REALLY nice... and our costumes are cute... imagine herseys, kinder suprise, kitkats, snickers, M&Ns and ferrero roche dancing... HAHAHAa.... Anyway.... sad...

Hmm.... what else happened over the pass few weeks... Flag was fun though... maybe cause it's my first time... hahaaaa.... but the fun is ruined by me needing to fill two cans one belonging to SDE while the other belonging to Eusoff... Anyway people... I am staying the a hostel... feel free to drop by to slack... provided i must be in lahx... ahhaaaaa.... Now packing to 'move house' on national day... HAHAA....

Oh... and I managed to plan a 4day week.... so my wed is free... any souls wanna ask me out... WED is a good day... cause I would be working on sats and sunday is most likely gonna be study and tut day :)

If you really wanna know what i am up to the past few weeks... facebook seems to be a good place.... I am really sorry if your feeds are like flooded with my pics... OMG... don lose your appitete though... it's gonna stop... hahaaa....

Kudos...

2010-07-16T11:33:00.002+08:00

I have to say this...

I LOVE GIER!

I think they are the greatest group of people I have known :) They are take initiatives, they bond very well and they are a very very nice bunch of people... and just recently... I found out that there are many rich kids in my OG.... Muahahaaa.... Veron should know about this cause I was damn excited when I talk about it over the phone yesterday...

But... Horrer strikes with every outing I go with them... First outing I went, Melody told me she is changing from PFM to RE... My room matteeee!!!! Then 2nd outing I went, Meldoy told me she CHANGED to RE... Then 3rd outing I went, Chrystal (the last lady in PFM, cause we only have 3 ladies in PFM) said she want to change to RE too!!! OMG! Why everyone going RE... Make until I wanna go RE also...

Rah... But I wanna blog about happy memories with GIER....

Yesterday I went for QET (which totally sux... I bet I will flunk like crazy if they mark the GP way... Cause I don even know which one is my SA and which one is my OA) then after that we went to Melody's house for GIER annual sports day... And for the Nth time, I took ZhengHao's car to Yishun with Shernice. Then while waiting for a type punture merz to reach NorthPoint, we ate swensens...Then after that we took YingXiang Merz to Melody's house... Short but damn shuang trip... first time I take Mercedes Benz can... Although I know nuts about car... I do know that Merz is damn ex... Then we played Bball at Melody's house... wah... Damn long never play ball, the grip also not there liaox... Ball keep kena tap away by esther... Maybe I am too used to playing Netball that I am not used to people tapping away the ball from my grip (cause this is a foul in Netball), so Esther keep tapping away my ball that I feel damn irritated for one moment, I played rough... Hiaz... Hope she is not offended or anything... Then switch to tennis... although I have played tennis numerous times... I still can play tennis... Aiyah... arm no strength lahx... haha... Then after that went to stone in the function room... play our fav game, murderer... and the new version of murderer... Maybe not new to some... but new to me lahx...

While we ate dinner... I found out that Chrystal is transferring to RE also =C... Our OG only got 4 PFM souls... Then now left only 2 if Chrystal is transferring... The Peter (PFM) say g0 RE better... So... A PFM senior is telling me to go RE.... WHY? So darren was saying RE is very broad-based curiculum can work in bank and ya-da ya-da... So I listen already also think RE not bad... Then for one moment I really thought I chose the wrong course to study lehx... is like why would someone in PFM tell you to go RE? Ok... maybe he don like... who know... so, I was fretting the whole night if I should transfer too... and till now... still no conclusion... damn sian...

Every career has competition... Just like Project and Facilities Management and Civil Engineering is competing against each other. Real Estate although able to work in banks competes with Biz finance who would be a better choice for employers. Real Estate can study about valuation of land, how to make the land more worth the money so can PFM. PFM manages the entire project (which don't you think it's damn cool to like tell people, I managed the project of the building of IR or some mega construction project? ok... maybe it's only cool for me...) while RE is only part of the project... I don't know why is there a issue against PFM?

I don't want to let people influence my choice that easily now... Just like what XueShuang said... When you made to choice to put PFM as your first choice, you have already weigh out its pros and cons, you thought about the future prospect clearly and made the choice which at that time, you think was right... So no point regretting you made the right or wrong choice... because you can't see the future... Maybe you study PFM and then turn out to have a sucessful career, would you like turn back and say... oh that time I made the correct and wonderful choice... or you transfer to RE and ended up in some ulu place, are you going to say... I shouldn't have transferred back then... You won't... Because the past dosen't know the future...

如果时间可以倒流我现在所拥有的一切都不会那么-珍贵
我无法预知未来所以我得相信我现在所做的决定

2010-07-06T11:06:00.002+08:00

I decided that today is a nice day to post something cause I am HOME!!!

Yesterday, I went for an OG outing at kallang leisure park... First time there... I know it sounds weird... Reach there at 1 and waited until 1.30pm... Then organiser only appeared at 4pm.... -_-''' Had pastamania for lunch and wanted to go bowling... But we forgotten that yesterday was youth day and all the lanes were full... We have to wait for 7 lanes before us... :( Well... Actually I am happy... Cause I no need to pay to throw my money into the lang gau... So we ended up going Kirstine's house earlier than planned... Actually I wasn't going cause I am leaving for work... But since we left for her house early... and someone volunteered to drive us to the nearest MRT station later... I agreed to go lolx... And I will never regret this decision to go man... Her house... is super big... She might just be the richest friend I know... We took ZhengHao's car from kallang to her house... then we parked outside her house... Then the guys look at the car parked in the porch and commented "this car can buy a HBD flat" I was like O.0. At first I thought she lives in a condo cause they were talking about throwing people in the swimming pool... It turns out that the swimming pool is in her house! Although not olympic pool... it has a nice design...Her house living room looks like a resort lahx... Chairs... Then luo di chuang then outside is the pool... Ok... I don't know how to describe... Then we went to the fourth level... and OMG... She has a pool table... Everyone was like... Take the stick and play liaox lolx... Then after that we played some lame game called the drinking game and mixed whisky with chrysanthemum... ok... Then 4plus left her house and YewHan send us to Paya lebar... And I went to work at BoonLay! Rah... So far away.... :(

Anyway... I will never dream of leaving in that type of house... I rather have a small and warm family... and somehow... I pro HBD :))

Well... Sometimes I just feel like quitting Q&M cause of the lost time with friends... BEcause most people work office hours in the morning... so they would be free at night... But I work at night... So most outings or gatherings would be held at night... and I would be working... Haiz... But I just signed the letter of appointment and they paid for my CSP course... By moral... I shouldn't just quit like that... and my mum was like saying maybe you just work until the end of july bahx... But if I really wanna work until the end of july... I have to tell them now... 2weeks notice... Haiz.. Delima...

Oh... Got video to post :) It's JJ Lin lahx... Who's video would I be posting ma...

I think it's a wonderful performance. :) watch it if you are free :)

2010-07-02T09:52:00.005+08:00

I post pretty seldom... although not as slow as VERON LOH But when I post... It's gonna be long...

Donno how many weeks have passed since I posted something on my blog.... But I shall start with my customer service course which happened... HMM.... two weeks ago...

The company I am with sent us for training cause they got much more complains than compliments I suppose... So every morning for full five days... I woke up damn early in the morning, squeeze the freaking train and travel all the way from Jurong to FarrerPark Dental Centre... Then... cause city square mall is an eco-mall...their air-con only opens at 9.30am.... and lesson starts at 9... Ok... Yah... So we were toasted hot in the training room... Then the course is not the type where you sit down there and sleep and listen... You have to be some service host and banquet host to entertain and keep people feel welcomed... I think my group is a pretty pro one... Hahaa.... Cause QinYi has alot of ideas and we just need to polish it abit and then ta-da! Yup.... and so the teacher praised us for the bingo game on baquet host day :))) Then there is a fashion show... That you have to self-intro... hahaa.... I think I am pretty out-spoken there... Ok... This is weird... But yes.... my teacher classified me under confident and out-spoken... so I we were given 1min for self intro... I haven finish and the teacher cut me... not that it mattersss.... Cause I was just crapping... Then last day... Dr CEO came... Oh my tian... He is pretty suave that day... Too bad I did not take any photo with him... oH... and that's the end of my five day course... You can now call me a Certified Service Professional... It Govt-cert :))

So... This is the group photo... qinyi standing beside the DR CEO....

Anyway... Two sundays ago... I went to MALAYSIA to buy my Nitendo DS Lite.... OMG.... It's like finnaaaallllyyyyy.... I have been wanting to buy it like half a year ago... Hahaaaa.... Oh... And I know it's childish... But I am playing pokemon diamond now.... Muahahaaa.... Cooking MAMa is also fun! oH... Veron.... Cause lend me harvest moon??? Please....

So after the course was already wed... Had a full day work at BoonLay on thurs and off for camp on fri... And I borrowed sleeping bag from Veron for NOTHING! and still have to trouble her to bring it to the JP clinic... :(

Friday... Woke up early to find it RAINING cats and dogs... Not dampen actually... ahahahaa... then when I got out of the house... my area is only drizzling... Then took 99 and switch 183... OMG... Clementi looks like it's gonna FLOOD! and I have to carry such a mega bag and squeeze into the 183 which happens to go into sci park... so in the end I was late 3 mins... Not much lahx...

Then got into the usual ice-breaking games... And found out that I am in the same OG as XianMei! Wootssss..... Ok... then while waiting for the rain to stop... We thought of cheers... With so many JJ cheers... I couldn't think of any... LOL.... Then xianmei was suggest... .....Step you like a ginger bread...... Then I was thinking... we have this cheer... but cannot remember what's in front... LOL... SO gave up... We ended up with PJ cheer that goes... (gier ichiban sa-sa bo chio wan sui... and remix it and ended with Oh yea oh yea oh yea Gier... you are the only one Gier come on lets shout it out loud OH GEIR!) and then WE WILL WIN THE WAR! Ended with a-ya-banja-B-banja.... LOL... interesting cheer... After lunch we proceed to amazing race... wah... The games are.... Normal... Nothing much to talk about... But I am pretty suprised that I actually won in a sicssors paper stone game... this... is a miracle... and I had a number of blue blacks after a ballon stepping game....Then we had emitasia talk where everyone slept through... At night... horrified by Mass Dance session... Wah... I thought mass dance is suppose to be easy... and so WHAT'S WITH THAT LOCKING AND POPPING!!! haha... But it's a pretty cool dance... After mass dance... Is SP (Secret Partner) time... Kena blind folded and talking to someone for 1.30 hr... Omg.... It's pretty bad lahx... cause me and my sp is the type that don really talk alot one... But She is my room mate's friend and also in PFM! WHEEEE! Can go school together! So we keep falling into silence and listening to the next table's convo... which is Yew Han and Grace... Haha... and cut it scaring the two... LOL.... Then by the time we turn in for sleep is like 2 plus.... We slept in yusoff hall... and 2 person to one single room... So I got a PFM partner MELODY! WHeeee... She is a very very nice and talkative girll.... haaahhaaa.... we cocluded that the bed is enough for the both of us to sqeeze in... So we ended up not using the sleeping bag... LOL...

Next day we drew our own flags (or rather for my group we got the Archi and ID ppl to do it) and the session ended with a fake freshie hidden within us... Ended up to be someone I was so shocked of... I even mass danced with her... So everyone was like in a state of shock that for full 30mins or so... no one talked to her...then we had something like the kinetic warfare.... Though I was not wet... cause we played water bomb I was not hit... then played some obstacle couse there was not water except for the pool... HAHA... The there is a gross thing we played captian's ball with Cabbage orange and tou-fu... EWWWWW..... The canvas soccer I excuse myself cause I hate having soap on me... and I just heal from my rashes... I am not going to let it come up again... Welll but it still did... haiz... thanks to sentosa.... Then afternoon we had this... I find it meaningless... we were blind folded and walked around the school... and our OGLs was like... this is the place where we study and find our resources... I was like... HMM.... we are blind folded... you tell us got use meh???? Anyway... at night there's rag publicity... I want to join RAG!!!! Float or dance also can... BUt I donno how to dance... so me and ShangYU decided to join float instead... haha.... At night went for supper at west coast MAC.... Came back with 9 girls squeeze in the backseat of peter's car....

Day 3 at sentosa... NOthing much other than soaking in sea water and playing water captian ball... If I know how to swim... I might just have gone down... hahaaa.... And the dog and bone is fun... Which ended up with Malcom destorying our victory... hahaaa.... Dosen't matterr.... LOL... Came back and reveal who's your SP and then me and my sp was like watching a show lahx... Cause we are the second to come out... haha... and then yilong and his partner got secret code one leh... hahaa.... damn easy to find... LOL... Cute couple.... :) So dead tired... After the SP it's like only 9pm? And guess what we did? Watched World Cup in the LT... Germany VS England... 4-1... LOL.... This is the first time I was so slack in the camp that I watch soccer... but I fell asleep halfway through cause I don't watch and not interested.... After that we went for supper... Wah-seh... That one power lahx... Pheobe got a suprise BD by the shop and got whip cream allllll over her face... hahaaaaa....

Last day was talent-time and I dance Sorry-sorry... so malu... ok... Whatever... The camp ended... and I love my OG... GO GEIR!!! Made nice friends like ShangYu from ID... I am joining Inter-Fac floorball when I don even know how to play... but she is teaching meee :)) and then My room mate Melody... My PFM pal... Then artira... COol and power lady... Huiling, nice and caring fake freshie... and although the camp wasn't as fun as JJ's one... I thin the OG is much much much more bonded... Thanks GEIR... For making my day!

OUr self-made and self-designed flag!

Me and My SP, TzeYu

GIER!

From top left: Beiyi, HuiLing, Kristine, WeiCheng

Second from left: ShangYu, Melody, XianMei, Chrystal, YeeShuan, Pheobe,ZhengHao

Third from left: YewHan, Shernice, PeiQi, YiLong YingXiang (don you think he got the Lixuan feel?)

Bottom: Darren, Peter, Yoshua

Thanks PEOPLE! Love you!

2010-06-12T23:36:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I think it's pretty scary when I look at my schedule for JUNE.

I missed alfred's birthday today because I have to work...
Nitendo still not off the shelves... Hmm... I am buying back from freaking malaysia! who knows when I am going to buy it man.... Hiaz...
So... I am very surprised that I actually went for a shopping spree yesterday and today :)
Very unchracterstic of me... but as much as I expected.... I went window shopping with Veron yesterday while she spends like no tomorrow... haha...
Oh... Cotton on is having sale now that one pair of shorts is only 10 bucks :)
Then we went SMG.... just for a look... it fell short of my expectation... but at least it moved from some ulu ann siang hill to somewhere more well known cine :)

Then I woke up today morning at freakin 7.30 am.... just to go sp to eat mac only to reach there and find out that the mac is closed.... then wanted to go for the YOG training... but can't find the MLT... so... me and my sis with to IMM... -_-''' at 10am in the morning... and today... my turn to spend like no tomorrow... welll.... I am just stocking up for uni you know... haha....

oh... now i am currently in a delima of wether to continued the work at the dental clinic... cause I am afraid I could not catch up... somemore straight into the first week of lesson... I am getting excuse letter to go YOG... rah... means I am going to miss lesson... goodthing it's in the start... then I need to work on mon wed and thurs night... which only left me with tues and fri to study... but the thing is no one in the right mind would study the moment they step foot into uni lahx... so I was thinking maybe I just hang-on unti I feel that I can't take it anymore... since you just need a two week advance notice :)) also uni CCAs usually starts at night and I am blocking out my weekends for CCA too :) hmm.... why do I get the feeling that I am not going to study alot in uni...?

and I think me and yanting must be mad to put raffles hall as our first choice of hostel... being named RAFFLES hall indicates that its not easy to get in... LOL....anyway... I just take this hostel thing naturally lahx... if i get it, I move in... if not... just learn to be a singaporean and squeeze up the 183 with the sci park ppl during peak hours...

And my admission day us next weeeeekkkk.... wonders what they do during admission day.... oh.... and I was reading sei's blog and she was complaining that the biz school ask stupid questions for their camp entry... haha... Hope my Decamp don't ask such stupid questions too :)

Anyway... if Seiyu happen to read this post.... I wanted to tagg... but you don't have a tagboard.... You can just crap all you want.... they will take you in.... you are afterall a student of biz.... and did you participate in any cross fac camp? I registered for Union camp... crapped for their questions and got chosen.... But no one is going with me... :(

Call me out only in JULY.... June is a no way for me.... having course next week and camp the following... haiz.... June is suppose to be a slow down period for me... why is life more hectic than before :)

Oh.... and it's like FINALLY i get to see the YEC ppl tomorrow after so many failed attempts to go for their meetings... :)

2010-05-28T15:27:00.002+08:00

My job at Science Park Offically ended yesterday casue I am too lazy to go back on monday... At first I thought I would just walk off without a freaking person other than my supervisor, xingying and my lunchmate knowing... I swear it wasn't intentional... but it ended up with quite a number of people knowing...

Cause half an hour before the end of the day, I wanted to shut down my laptop and returned it back to IT depart... YET... when I was about to shut down, one of my collegue came over and wanted me to print out one of her accounts... So... I was thinking it's going to be a pretty fast thing (cause all you need is to open the doc and click print) and agreed... but it ended up that she wants to edit something too... THEN... my supervisor stood up and said, "HEY, are you going to return the laptop soon? They are going off at 5 today you know?" Then I told him I know... of course I know... Me and XY is always one of the first to leave the office can... And so the collegue who was editing the doc on my behalf was like "Huh? Not 31st meh?" Then I shook my head... Then another one came... and want me to do some editing for her... so she also ended up knowing... Then my sup was actually discussing something with another person whom happens to be working with me too... so she also ended up knowing... and they were shocked that yesterday was my last day... cause before that I told them it's 31st May... so in the end... my 默默走掉 became 轰动走掉... -_-''' Well... at the very end I indeed mo mo zou diao lahx... with XingYing.... Cause we left earlier than 5...

So... GOODBYE to Ascendas... Well... we might meet again few years down the road... who knows ;)

And I don't know if I should be happy or sad that I am leaving... Cause I like my job and I can say I am pretty lucky to get one with good environment... Cause the OLs around me are complaining about their office... yupx... I have nothing to complain about... and my supervisor is actually a pretty nice guy :)

Oh... so I was happy leaving cause I was thinking YEAH! can sleep liaox! No need to wake up at 7 liaox! Can relax at home liaox! and.... You know wad... barely one hour after I left the office for my last day... Q&M called.... and told me that I have to work next week everyday 9am to 9pm.... HELLO! I was just so so so so happy that I finally can get sleep and watch my PPLive and now you are asking me to work longer hours a day!!! My previous office work is like from 8.45 to 5.45 and now? 9-9... WHAT THE - Nightmare... (oh... if you are wondering what the hell I wrote for my status on facebook... I am referring to this...)

So... plans for next week dissappear into puff of smoke.... :((( I was thinking of getting my nitendo next week... :(( I was like wanting to buy since like... erm... last december? It's like half a year gone liaox lahx! Then I was thinking of going retail therapy with Veron... then I was thinking of packing my table, clearing my wardrobe... go swimming, start slimming down ya-da ya-da ya-da.... AND NOW? *poof!* GONE!

I know I did say I will not give up play for work anymore... but they really need help... cause the person going back malaysia...

oh veron... I am so sorry :(

OH people... SHALL WE GO GENTING IN JULY???

2010-05-23T21:44:00.003+08:00

我知道这一点都不对
但我相信一个人的性格是两种因素造成的
第一是环境
我内向的个性是环境造成的
小学的我并不内向
长大的我很内向
这是环境。

第二是基因
别人批评我的个性当然可以
但传给我这基因的人凭什么批评我
你们不是也都拥有这些性格吗？

是呀。我什么都不会。
是呀。我做事不主动。
那我会的时候，我做事主动的时候你在哪？你有看到吗？
为什么人类只能看到他人的缺点而不是优点呢？
可能我一点优点都没有
但你何必一而再再而三的批评我？
你对我要求虽然不高
但你奖励我时候我几乎记不起来了

你知不知道一个孩子需要鼓励和批评
如果一个孩子被批评的比例是是十比一
你知不知道这对她的信心有多大的打击吗？
她虽然不说但她信心一次一次的被你打碎
请问她到了外头哪来的信心啊!

我也想做一个坚强的女人
我更想独立
但我情绪一点都不稳定
怎么坚强？

一个坚强的人是不会应许自己掉眼泪的
我很努力的让自己不掉泪
但却发现那一点也不容易

家庭问题谁没有
算我幼稚不懂事吧
但今天我真的把心情写出来了
我知道你是为我好
但我真的很难受。

2010-05-09T10:45:00.002+08:00

I think it's hard to say a sorry with sincerity... I can say a quick sorry when I bump into a person (well.... I am really sorry) I can say sorry to a patient for making them wait so damn long cause the doc is so damn slow (but that's customer service)... The word sorry comes out of my mouth pretty easily... But when I want to say a sorry which I really really mean it... it's as difficult as reaching the skies. The sorry with sincerity... The type of sorry that I really want to say don't really come out.... It never came out at all... Since secondary school... I have always wanted to say this sorry to a friend of mine... But it never came out... Now that we have lost touch... or even if we meet again, I don't know where to start... Yesterday... I wanted to say sorry to someone... but it just won't come out... I really want to... I hope it wasn't because of me that she wants to resign... I know I did something really bad yesterday... but... I AM SORRY.

Life. Enjoy while you have it. I realised that since I started office work... I don't know what is play. Meetings are rejected because I have WORK. Events and activities are rejected because I have WORK. Things that I have always wanted to do is being pushed back because of WORK. I don't know what made me slow down and think... But now, I have decided that... Enjoy life while I have it. I would never again reject any meeting, activities and push back any important things because of work. Working, for now, is not a dorminant part of my life. Although you would be happy when you see your salary come in... But afterall... I have always been saying... money is not the main reason why I am working... So why did I push away life for work? This is the last time you can really enjoy life to the fullest... Why dominate it with work?

2010-04-22T21:40:00.005+08:00

I think I a very efficient worker... Muahaha... Cause today I ended work 15mins ealier cause they are unable to find things for me to do... -_-''' Well... this makes me think that maybe they would wanna terminate the contract early O.0.

Dosen't matter anyway... Haha... cause my 出发点 wasn't for the money in the first place... I just want to see how it feels to be busy.... and I really mean tired and busy.... try rushing here and there after work...

Till today... NO LETTER :(( super sianed.... I wanna go NTU!!!! Rah... 随天意吧!

Oh... Motive for this post... Song lyric...

五月天- 咸鱼

我是一只咸鱼不想承认也不能否认
不要同情我笨又夸我天真还梦想着翻身
咸鱼就算翻身还是只咸鱼输得也诚恳
至少到最后我还有咸鱼不腐烂的自尊

我没有任何天分我却有梦的天真
我是傻不是蠢我将会证明用我的一生

我如果有梦有没有错错过才会更加明白明白坚持是什么
我如果有梦梦要够疯够疯才能变成英雄总会有一篇我的传说

我不好也不坏不特别出众我只是敢不同
我的人生就是一错再错错完了再重头
也许放弃掉一些活得更轻松我却不再是我
我不愿一生晒太阳吹风咸鱼也要有梦

我没有任何天分我却有梦的天真
我是傻不是蠢我将会证明用我的一生

我如果有梦有没有错错过才会更加明白明白坚持是什么
我如果有梦梦要够疯够疯才能变成英雄总会有一篇我的传说

你们了解我为何喜欢五月天吗？
看了歌词有特别的感觉吗？
我有。。。
他们那生活化的歌词
我非常喜欢。。。
不像那些你爱我我爱你的歌词
而是唱到我心里去的歌词
咸鱼是我非常喜欢的歌
但他们有更多很好听的歌
让你慢慢欣赏。。。

个人推荐：
-疯狂世界（我好想好想飞逃离这个疯狂世界。。。）
-心中尚未崩溃的地方
-憨人
-放肆
- 终结孤单
-笑忘歌
-春天的呐喊

Of course there are love songs that are nice... I might just put portion of these lyrics at the right side of my blog.... HOHOH... ok...

Ok... this is abit over liaoz... But the only reason I like MAYDAY is because I think their song lyrics are damn interesting... Sick and tired of Love songs... so their songs sure make in hit in me... =S

Oh... If you read the papers... JJ LIN, STEF SUN, TANYA CHUA and A-DO sang a song for the Singapore Expo Hall in ShangHai (i suppose) called 感动每一刻. Erm... According to the papers, this song is suppose to 鼓励 and 加油... but... it sound to me like a love song... and... although I know the expo is in CHINA.... but... I don't think there is a need to make the song 中国风 you know... but they did say one thing correctly... catchy chorous... :) but the 4 Singers 默契 not very good :( Show you the video :)

That's all for today :)
PS: STEF is gorgeous... Tanya looks abit... ADO looks suitable being a contractor... HOHOH... and is JJ a tourist photographer??? LOL... I shall not comment on JJ cause I would be bias... btw... anyone knows why on earth is he in Singapore this coming sunday??? My guess... Transfer plane from Melbourne... shun bian go home and see family and get together with friends...

2010-04-18T14:15:00.010+08:00

CAUTION: THIS IS GOING TO BE A SUPER LONG POST... ;)

Well... 2 weeks since I updated my blog... Yet there is so many things that happened in this two week period... :) So this is going to be a super long post...

To start off... Work.. My second and third week of work is ok... But this week is totally difficult to pull though due to the accumulated lack of sleep due to Chalet and OSIM... Like I always tell people... I used to wake up at 10am but now I need to wake up 3 hrs earlier... Then you go to work and stare at the computer looking at the same thing over and over again... It's pretty boring you see... But I am pretty statisfied with my job to be honest... I am not going to complain about it anyway... except for me still not having any friends to have lunch with... So lonely :( Not that I don't want to make friends but just that the people there are already in cliques and there is an age gap between us... And being a SUPER big department... It's normal that you will make friends with people around your area first... And you know what... People around my area can just live with air... Yup...they are THIS busy... And also because I am a total introvert lahx... :( And coming to think of it... For the past 1 week, I haven't been to Q&M... Cause I gave my sessions @ boonlay to QIN and told JE I not going this wed and then kena sacked by JP... yup... But next week going to work at JE on WED and SAT... So I am still an active worker in Q&M :)

Next, OSIM. OSIM was... .... .... SUPER HOT! Why does everyone have a shade to hide in yet I don't! Well... not really lahx... I do have a shade... But the shade is across the road... and if I stand there... I might as well not marshal... Cause the cyclist won't be about to see me... yup... So my only shade is the shadow of trees... But by 10 or 11am... the shadow went to the track... and out of my reach... SO I am the most burnt out of all... Anyway... the ELite race is super cool :) Got wind blow past one lehx... Haha... And stupid me... Went barefooted on the road cause I don't want to have slipper tan lines on my feet (but in the end I still have) and got a huge blister... RAHHH.... So I bought a bai ka to chalet... Yup... Haha...

Dead, tired and burnt out... I went to chalet... You know... I still work from 9 to 9 at Clementi on Sat... The chalet was... .... Urm... Yah... BBQ? Failed... YOu don't know how much I was lookng forward for the BBQ... Activities? Do they even have? Haha... Watch Hairspay.... This is the very first time I watched TV during a chalet.... went bowling but alleys are full... went pool but tables are full... so ended up going to arcade... WAHSEH... I found a super NICE game to play... but it's also SUPER ex... 2 bucks per game... but got 3 stage... It's called JUBEAT :) VERY VERY FUN... I was laughing like mad when jiawei and veron was playing... haha... Being tired and burnt out... I wanted to sleep... So I slept but they are playing cards and so damn noisy... and I woke up and scolded them :X... Didn't meant to... But I really wanted to sleep... Second day... huimin and the others left before me... cause I wanted to cycle... Yanting also don't want to leave early... but... After lunch... the two couples actually went back to SLEEP!!! Haiz... Played Mahjiong with Alf and wenhui... While veron and jiawei slept... haiz... I should have known it and left with Huimin they all... but I don't want to go home early... :( Then alf actually played mahjong until he sleep... *roll eye* Yah... Then actually me and yanting wanted to take the 6 pm bus but missed it and ended up taking the 7pm one... :) Anyway... Yanting is a super nice person to talk with =D

Then yesterday... MAYDAY concert! MAYDAY! MAYDAY! MAYDAY!!!!

WOOTS!!! Nice... but not worth the money :( I freaking spent 171 bucks and then get blocked by 2 super tall guys from I don't know where... It's was a phew that my height is above average there... if not i might just resort to looking at the screen... People from I don't know where... But definitely behind us... came infront during the concert... because there are gaps between rows for convinience purpose... But these people simply just ran infront during the concert and block my view... SUPER 不爽！If not I could get a very good view while sitting!!! Then due to having 2 stage, they sometimes go to the second stage and then this people will run to the back... Then be and QIN and the two girls infront simply stand at the middle blocking them from coming back.... Yet they are super good at squeezing their way through... should pick up rugby and block the hell out of them... It's super unfair where you are sitting behind us and yet you come to the front blocking our view... and they still got the cheek to ask if they can go infront (this are the more polite ones some simply just squeeze their way through) I am very very tempted to write a letter of complaint... They should cordon off the area... But yes... it's very high... I was sweating like mad on a cool night... And they are also sweating like mad... until MASA simply just take the towel and ruffle his hair like he his drying his hair after a shower... Everyone is sweating like mad lahx... And they said they were very happy at first that they can get the concert outdoor... but they are regretting abit because it's too hot... they never thought it's going to be this hot... Haha... They said that the past few concerts they did it indoor and they want to rock the rooftop of indoor stadium off... now they don't have a roof... they want to rock SHE's rooftop off... HAha... no lahx... :) They rock... MAYDAY really rock the house until the floor was vibrating non-stop...yah.... EarthQUAKE!!! haha... Yet... a super gross thing... remember standard chartered? History repeated itself yesterday... MUD engulfed my shoe.... GROSS!!!!

Oh... and Veron... Do you remember the lady that gave us a name card during NTU open house while we are taking the bus to clementi? The club or society is there as urshers... But I didn't see the lady lahx... I was already thinking of joining the club if I get myself into NTU... but now... I am more tempted to... C'mon man! Mayday concert lehx... and maybe other events too :)
And one interesting thing... While we are queing up to by some concert soviniers, my mum called... And you know she said? She asked if the concert is cancelled.... I was like ??? why would it be cancelled? No rain, no thunder, no lighting... everything looks super fine to me... So I told her no... no one mentioned about cancelling concert and there are hell lots of people queing everywhere... Then she said my dad said it's cancelled... So i thought he heard it on radio or news or something... But in the end he said... Mayday called up his company to get people down to fix the generator and I think borrow the generator cause it's not working... Without a generator... you can never get a concert done... Anyway... everything went smoothly afterall... even though there are some technical faults... Yup...

One more thing... you guys won't believe who I saw yesterday man... Cause I was leaving in a hurry, i didn't manage to take a picture with her :( My sis friend is like waiting outside for us... I saw Ms Chew Xin-Wei... Econs Chew... In a Mayday concert?????????? Well... At least she now looks super healthy to me... Good thing... good thing.... And I saw her... I suppose boyfriend... Haha... Haiz... too bad I didn't manage to take a pic with her... :(

Although they say they want to sing later than SHE and yet they didn't. Although they say that they wouldn't allow us to go unless we are totally drenched in sweat but they didn't. But...

queing on and forever to get into the stadium :)

Check out the stage! The LCD is very the small... Haha..

Not of good quality too...

Blue Light Stick :) Very nice in a night when everyone is using it :)

During the concert... Was concentrating on watching the concert

So I didn't take much pics... :)

Check out MAYDAY's version of bumble-bee :)

MAYDAY... KEEP ROCKING ON!

PS: I can't believe it took me 2 hours to write this post...

2010-04-02T20:49:00.002+08:00

My first day to work was... OK... but I could understand my friends feeling on a peak hour bus or train... Haha...

Woke up at freaking 6.15 in the morning... And realised I was too early for work when I reached there... Diaoz... 6.15am is earlier than school wake up time for me... Zzz... So... Jurong being pretty inacessible... I had to walk to Lakeside MRT station... Take the freaking squeezy train to Clementi and then rush (like a typical Singapore Auntie) to board the 183 into Science Park... I almost got 'kiap' but the bus door can... LOL.... and when I alighted... I found out that I didn't tap my card... -_-''' So I hitched a free ride to work on the first day!

Reached there, found my way by directly asking the info counter... And time check... 8.20am.... i am suppose to report at 8.45... So I went to their cafeteria and stone... 8.45 went back and then the HR person... Made me wait until 9 plus cause she was caught in a jam... Rah... You know... time=money??? Hence, by the time I was introduced to the finance department, it was like... 10am?

My first impression of my supervisor is 'Office Politics' He simply looks like some person who would stab you on the back one day... Phew... I am just a temp staff... Got briefed on what to do and ya-da ya-da.... I got a table of my own! :) Eh... forgot to mention... when I walked into the finance department, my thoughts were... 'Pri school staff room' and the whoel department was using Excel.... Not suprising... So I got a table with my name--> not really my table... Cause the table I was supposed to be at was stacked with A4 papers and files... So they just dump me to a table... and a personal Laptop... :)

Then... Cause the work i was suppose to do is not in YET.... the person got me something to do... And for that whole of yesterday.... I was revising Econs (international trade i suppose)... with current accounts, financial statements, credit risk appearing... I was like... Hmm... so this is where Econs is of good use... Yup... and numbers and more numbers.... Rah.... I would never wanna be an accountant in my life man...

Then... I was supposed to leave at 5.45 as stated in the contract... but I left the place at 6.20! And my dad was supposed to drive me to work... but... due to our lack of communication... He was waiting for me at Science Park 1 and I am at Science Park 2! So we were arguing on the phone and I was screaming saying that the bus stop only has 183 and he was screaming his bus stop only has bus 92. In the end... I gave up and decided to take a taxi down... Actually it's my fault that I gave him the wrong add... Instead of 61 science park road... I gave him 71 science park road... BUT i did told him that I am in Science Park II.... rah....

So... I flagged a taxi at peak hour... I am pretty lucky to be able to get one is quite a short time... Cause you know that area pretty ulu and taxis don really go there lahx... And then by the time I board the freakinf cab... it's already 6.45... And what time was I suppose to reach the clinic? 6.30pm.... 完了！But also lucky for me... The AYE wasn't Jammed and I managed to reach the clinic at 7 pm... Thanks to the cab uncle rushing his way and drive pass an orange light(hope he didn't get fined by doing that)... Then when I reached, the doc still not here yet... Phew.... But even if I am late, the doc won't care lahx... but just that my supervisor will eruption... :X

That's the end of my chaotic day on April FOoL...

Afterall... The job was pretty ok... At least I wasn't thinking about why the time is crawling or wanting to go home... but I felt like I was in antartica and feeling sleepy...

Oh... And today... I read this book or brochure i got from my letter box and it reminded me of Huimin telling me about this global warming chapter she read in Freakonomics... Carbon Dioxide is NOT the only gas that is causing global warming! And even if we cut down CO2 emission, it would not help much as predicted or told... What we need to cut down is METHANE gas which traps 74times more heat than Carbon Dioxide... and is abundant in Agricultural sector... Like your pig, cow, goat, chicken...

So... if you really want to make a difference in global warming and save the earth, Eat further down the food chain (or rather just eat the producers which are our plants). Turn Vegetarian. But if you are a meat lover like me... You might just try cutting down meat intake alittle by a little... I am planning to eat vegetarian 3 times a week... See whether can tahan anot... HAha... Oh... and the book say you will get good Karma too... by not killing animals... Which I think it's pretty rubbish... haha... eh... The book also said something like... If the whole world start eating vegetarian, the world condition would improve in 60 days... That's like SO FAST!

2010-03-31T10:51:00.003+08:00

Tennis is fun. But it is also as tiring... Went for sports session at RP on Monday and came back with a sun burn... It's like a pretty long time since I had a sun-burn, BUT the game was damn fun. Next time if you wanna play tennis, try it out with the elastic ball first... It beats playing with a real human being because you would end up picking up balls, believe me... Playing with an elastic one is good in a way that how much strenght you place on the ball is how much strength you get back... and you don have to pick up balls... So me and my sis had this mini squash session using a tennis elastic... it's pretty fun but tiring... damn tiring... imagine hitting balls for hours and in the after 10am sun...

We played basketball after that... by then the 12pm sun is really burning and I couldn't take it anymore... so we ended and went for a wash-up. TIRED... it was like so hot that when I came out of the shower I was already starting to sweat... then... 好死不死... when we left, it starting raining... I need to go bugis for the contract... so I took the train... and came out of bugis to see RAINING CATS AND DOGS! So went to get money to take cab. Then super sway, cannot get cab, and then called up the office and told them I would be late. Another 15mins later, get fed up and called up again to ask if there is any sheltered walkway... But when I reach there, the rain has lessen so much that i just decide to walk in the rain to SHAW tower... reach the office, 狼狈的样子... I think I left a bad first impression... so signed contract and throw my bombs (but didn't manage to get the type of ans that I was looking for) and then decided to skip work for the night... Haiz... One hour so sunny like going to melt, another hour rain like mad and so humid... WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE WEATHER NOWADAYS!

Yesterday, I woke up aching all over... and my legs felt like thet weigh a thousand tons... my leg feels like it does not belong to me... HAHA... I was like dragging it while I walk... and come to think of it, the last time I had this kind of serious aches is after a demonous netball training in Sec school... and my arms are also aching like some shit lah... I can't even lift my arms (after effect of a long tennis game). BUT... It's really fun... TENNIS.

Tomorrow is first day of work... HONEST... I am very excited... Cause I am working for a land, estate company which I suppose i cannot tell the name (according to the contract) and this might be a good chance to see if I would really wanna do Project Facilities Management in NUS... :)

即期待又害怕受伤害...

2010-03-28T20:52:00.002+08:00

FINALLY!
I got my blogskin out.... Hmm... Although not very nice... BUT at least its a good first try I think!
Well... How do you guys think about my new skin?

Anyway... Actually I am just trying out my typing speed... haha... Cause I went to an interview and the person actually asked me how fast I type... And I replied pretty fast... Now coming to think of it... I don't really type fast... HAHA... I can type fast... but will have hell lots of typo... Diaoz... Beat the purpose.... HAHA.... While in case you guys don't know... I got myself another job! Whee.... Although it's pretty impromtu and it makes people wonder is this some april fool joke... but I think I will be fine for that job... just 2 months and you will have cash raining in your bank... HAHAA.... While... As to details... I am not sure too... I think I am going down to sign the contract like tomorrow? Anyone has any advise to what i should look out for? And wait till I am truely sure that I am not an April's fool... I shall wait till I start work before boosting on and on about my 'to-be' work... HAHA...

Anyway... I think I am going to be a very problematic employee... Cause I got the dental job that I don't i will be quitting... you know... I still need income in june and when school reopens especially if i wanna stay in a hostel... So I was thinking of negotiating with the person... Will I get chopped for this? then work one week and I have a class chalet... so have to take 1 or 2 days off.... better not take the risk of getting fired on my first day... so if she is unwilling to give me a leave which is highly possible... I might just skip the class chalet... NOOOOOO!!!! I wanna go! Sobs.... Super sian...

Hmm... Should I add an event calendar here? Hmm.... not that I will read anyway.... Well then I shall not... But i can update you guys so that you won waste your message...

030410: Work @ clementi
040410: ShaoMu
100410: Work @clementi
110410: OSIM international Triathlon
120410: Class Chalet @ Parsir Ris
130410: Class Chalet@ Parsir Ris
170410: MAYDAY concert

so... no time no time... Maybe April is going to be the month I really get a great taste of how life is like... BUSY... 充实的生活:)

AND.... I missed JJ's auto or rather 背对背拥抱+拍照会 and JJ PARTY @ SCAPE... strictly speaking... not miss... just that I chose not to go... Like I say... i am no crazy FAN of his... 纯粹的欣赏... but also cause nobody wanna go with me... Sobbbssss.....

Well... That's all.... I just wanna give my typing skills and speed a test... but i think it barely make the mark... LOL.... And if anyone loves my blogskin... I am willing to share... you can get the template from me.... which i don't think anyone will like... But if anyone thinking of doing your own skin... I could help... 一回生二回熟嘛！哈哈...

2010-03-10T15:08:00.002+08:00

Beiyii is currently doing a personal project...
Hence she wouldn't be updating her blog during this period of time...
She hopes she could finish this project by 20th March...
Until then...
Unless it's important or too interesting a stuff...
She wouldn't be updating her blog...

尽请期待... A brand new look :)
I am such a spoiler... :(
HAHA

2010-03-08T11:56:00.002+08:00

I remember last year I was doing a GP paper (forgot the school name) and there is this question.

"Why are we learning history when it keeps repeating itself?" At that time I thought that's a pretty cool and interesting question. Now... it's even more intersting for I am the one experiencing the scenario.

I am too fickle-minded a person that I hardly like to make any choices especially important choices... But life is all about choices... Like what my love always likes to say... The choice is yours... I remember barely 3 months ago... I was so insistent that I want to take up physiotherapy... I WAS so insistent... I don't give a damn what my friends and teachers said about a poly education after A's... And physiotherapy was actually the goal that keeps pushing me throughout the two years in my JC life... As you know... People work for a goal... And my goal... WAS a scholarship in Physiotherapy... That WAS my goal all along since I graduated from JVS... That WAS my goal... I want to be a allied health professional...

Noticed that I used WAS? Because... Now... It isn't... Maybe because I had too much time to settle and think about optimistic and pessimistic views of my all along goal... This goal started to lose it's stand last year, I noticed... While my friends are busy surfing uni websites for their courses... I was so determined and told them... I am taking physiotherapy in NYP... I have no intention at all to take up any uni courses for god's sake... Some gave me a why-do-you-want-to-go-poly face... while the more understanding ones would say... just go with your interest... This goal or dream stood rooted through my JC 1 and half way through JC2... It started to shake... Not literally of course...

About aug (I only noticed until then), suddenly... I felt the need to open up to alternatives... I cannot just put my head into a hole and not care about the outside... if you know I meant... and it strucked me that my parents did not know about me wanting to go poly... Usually they don't interfere with my life or the choice I make... but they clearly wanted me to get into a Uni... Then... I felt the need to open up... physiotherapy may be what you wanted... but not what you really want... people's preference and interest changes.... yours may also change... That's what I told myself... But back then... all that was in my mind was A levels A levels and A levels... maybe because I lost my goal in life... I had no mood or no motivation to study... Everything went into the immunity stage... Coming to think of the post-prelim period where I have totally no motivation to study... everyday seems to be a great torture... everyday I need to force myself to do TYS, tutorials read my notes... It wasn't like the past where I sometimes like to study... I like to do my tutorials... the post-prelim period... everything was forced... it wasn't voluntary... it might be because I lost my north-star... I lost my direction... my goal... People are driven by a goal... When they lost it... it's hard to be motivated...

After the As.... of course I have hell lots of time to sit and think, think and think and let my imagination run wild... Then... I noticed a fear in me... I like risk-taking people... but I am not a risk-taker... I am a typical 保守singaporean... It strucked me... What if I regret halfway through my course? Being in such a specific course... it's not easy to turn away as compared to if you have a general degree... Won't I be living in hell? Being too late to turn back and no point going forward.. what if I regret? I was surprised... I never thought I would regret taking up physiotherapy... I always thought that was what I really want in life... That's the job i want... That was how much passion I HAD... I don't know what factors caused it to change... caused it's standing in my heart to change... but it did... it really did... It became a choice... Not a dream...

I was lost and confused... I didn't get good results to start off with... So... There wasn't many uni courses that I am able to get into... I talked to my sec sch teacher... I talked to my cousin... I talked to my doctor (yes... to that extend) I tried to get the correct and more sounding advises... And Miss Chua and My cousin made the most sense out of everything... They together cleared the mist totally... Everything became clear... I decided not to take up physio... Not because I no longer have passion for it... but it's because I am afriad of regret... You cannot afford to regret... And being 18... looking beyond what's in front of you is what you should be doing... and being 18... you might someday change your goal in life again... you are barely 1/4 through life...

What do I really want? I want to look into the future... My future...

2010-03-02T00:08:00.002+08:00

我相信上天是公平的
它会给你机会
但只是一次机会
因为它需要给太多人机会了
它很忙
它不会在意你有没有把握这机会
只要它有给你就是了
当它给了你机会你却没把握
那你要等很久之后机会才会再来到你身边

我两年前得到了我的机会
但却没有好好的把握
我希望它会再来
但我知道机会渺茫

我是一个悲观的人
绝对不是那种你说一两句我就能放下我的忧郁
这让我更害怕某天的来临
在我还没有完全认识恐怖的自己之前
我真的害怕某天的到来
而那某天即将来临
我感觉到了恐怖的自己即将重生
虽然答应了自己不要再让那野兽出现
但我害怕我控制不了我飘浮不定的情绪

我想控制这支野兽
但我时间不多了
我不知道我到底做不做的到

但你们可以放下千万颗心
我是不会有事的
因为我是个窝囊废
连该有的勇气都没有
所以即使野兽出现
我并不会怎样
只是会有那种念头

但如果我突然有了勇气
请你们不要生气
不要伤心
不要担心
因为那毕竟是我‘选择’的路

2010-02-26T09:58:00.003+08:00

Dr Raymond Lim is a pretty nice guy...:) But he is abit like wad JinZhao said... Sort sort one... Yesterday was the first time i met him... but he treated us to food and drinks... That's ok cause Mdm Seetoh does that too... But he even help me with SAP and CAP.... And this stupid me thought that staff needs to pay money... but in the end.... no need.... I always thought it's special discount or something like that lahx.... Yah lolx...

And yesterday I found out that I got 4 decayed tooth! OMG!!!! I brush everyday can!!! And I thought it was just a normal SAP but in the end he also help me with a CAP... Yah... 4 decayed tooth! 晴天霹雳! it's not that I don't brush... and I got gums inflamation lehx... Phew... it's a good thing i let him do a check up... if not all my teeth is going to die liao... next time you see me in dentures... HAHA....

Anyway... Dr Raymond is very nice doctor.... he was joking throughout and we did chat... haha... Not much doctor chat with their staff... and yesterday was the first time I assited the doctor cause the dental assistant was on the chair doing the SAP... and one thing 手忙脚乱.... I don't know all the things and any thing... haha... I think that leaves a bad impression of me for him.... haha...

So I came back and told my sis this doctor is abit of over-friendly... and then her comment was... not friendly you also complain... over friendly you also complain.... hahah.... I think I am a complain queen.... WHeee.... I hope to see him again... and this time maybe thank him in a more sincre way... cause I only said a thank you yesterday for the much he do.... HAHA...

2010-02-19T14:37:00.002+08:00

New Year wasn't as bad as i thought it would be... but something unbelievable is that I fell asleep in my grandma house... haha... while listening to Mayday's song... Can you believe? It's mayday's song!! They are suppose to be high and rock... I think I was really tired that day... haha... then day 2 I went to my uncle house... and then watch the 百万小学堂... I was like OMG! I can't even answer simple questions... haha... No face man... A-level graduate leh.... Cannot ans pri school questions... Sobs... I need to start eating up my books... Haha... Jk lahx... But it's time to start the engines going... :)

Oh... did I mention before my nephew is damn cute? I find him cuter this time round I saw him... Baby Nathaniel (I supposed its spelt like that) I shall put the pics up next post which is like donno when... HAHAHA! My niece also very cute... But she is not photogenic and I realise that Grace(my niece) looks like Kerning(my doctor's daugther) and Grace seldom talk... But when she talk her voice is damn cute! Kids mahx... Haha... And she don't cry... Cause that time at my grandma house... the dad call her go take drink for him... then she take the wrong one... the everyone around the table was like OOOOO.... then she immediately run to the father and hug him... if it's other kids i think cry liao... she is like only 2... haha... Back to Nathaniel.... He looks totally like his dad.... but much cuter version... and he looks like he walked out of some cartoon.... he got a very cartoon face... and he like to stick his tongue out(DAMN CUTE!) So day 2 i was busy taking pic of him... but i didn't manage to get ANY pic with him looking at the camera!!! Everytime I snap.. he turn away... haha... also because my camera is slow... zzzzz.....

Ok... My purpose for today's post.... Make a guess... well.... I said I won't blog about work cause it's full of complains... and I just met one 2 days ago... if you wanna know and hear me talk on and on... you can ask me out of a lunch or a dinner... But you must be quick... cause I will forget about the incident soon... recently have dementia symptoms... Haha...

Yah... Purpose... I always talk on and on without getting straight to point I found out... haha.... the first paragraph is usually not my main topic... LOL.... THIS IS NOT GP!!! Diaoz.... Ok Ok.... Purpose of this post... I am putting a video here... That's all! Haha... No need to make a guess wad video you guys should also know lahx... Who else's video would I put up here... Haha...

Here it goes....

Eh... This is a disgrace as a fan... but till now then I know that JJ's Sirname is LIM and not LIN.... although I have always thought it was LIM cause not alot of ppl in singapore with sirname 林 spelt as LIN more are LIM or LAM.... yah.... So... There is also a period of time I am wondering if his sir name was LAM.... But the WAYNE I knew it all along... It was in his IC. Not that I've seen it before... But I just know lahx... Wayne is his registered name.... So now I know that his sirname is splet as LIM... I am wondering... How his name is spelt.... LIM JUNJIE? LIM CHUNKIAT? --> You know... Ppl of his era don't use han yu pin yin... Ok... Wait... Why am I wondering all this lameo things???

And I feel like buying his gai ban... I shouldn't have bought the first one... I know I would regret... but I just don't want to download his songs illegally and I can't wait until now lahx... Haiz... and the gai ban one look so attractive.... Sobs... Should I buy? oh... and can some one accompany me to his auto session? I want his signature.... the last time I got is was like... 2005? or 2006... I can't even remember.... WAHHHAAAA....

2010-02-06T20:52:00.002+08:00

I know i said barely one week ago that I won't update my blog on work cause it's all going to be complains... But this time I can't help it... I would never ever wanna work sat at JE branch anymore... Kaoz... Is busy until pi pi cua lah.... Haiz... and the person there the face like just came out from a toilet full of shit can... I don't like her the moment she opened her mouth.... Hmm... Now I know how first impression of someone works... But I am not going to swear here that I won't work JE sat... cause No.1 I am going next sat (hope it is going to be the last sat) and there might be days in the future that I have no choice... I am not going to accept anymore saturday work with 3 doctors!!!

Anyway... I donno why is there a sudden urge to blog about this particular incident... Yah... I think I too bored liao... And I bought a new shoe!!! WHeeee.... it's flats... Is ppl's jaws dropping? Haha... don think so lahx... But i can see the 女大18变effect on me now... NOOOOOO..... Cause this year my CNY clothes are all dress and skirt.... OMG! *Faints*

2010-02-03T11:02:00.007+08:00

Hmm... I am not here to update about my life recently... cause it's just work and play... Muahhhahaa.... Unless you want to hear about my complains on patients am doctors... Yah lahx... I don't think anyone wants lahx...

So... My motive... I am embbing a vedio here... instead next time I wanna watch cannot find... recently the vedios I wanna watch I can't find on youtube... zzzz.... yup... It's a pretty nice video (my personal view lah) and pretty hilarious... and its not hard to guess whose video I am putting up here... lalalalala... :D

Last Sunday (31 Jan 2010) was JY & Candyce's wedding. Don't know who they are? It's ok... Cause they are not the reason why I post this video up anyway... haha... So during their wedding.... A special guest send then a well wishes video clip and then suddenly appear at the place shocking the newly-weds. The groom was like crying non-stop... And the special guest... is SO KAWAIIIIIII..... in the clip =DDDD

I like the first one particularly... Cause I think you would never see him sooo... lame (not really the word lah) and the 经典expressions... I like the part where he tell JY: Be a man.. More man than me.... ******** then he ask the person filming 那天会有媒体吗? Then the person was like 当然!!! After that his expression damn funny... Actually... you can actually read his lips to what he was saying in the censored part... :) I shall not write it here... But I know what he said... Muahhahaa.... I first time I saw these video I was smiling non-stop... (I wasn't laughing out loud LOL) Oh... there's a comment on youtube saying... Since he say cannot put... why is it here... -_-''' Anyway... I think I am going to be the only one getting excited watching this video anyway... LALALALA....

But if this type suprise happens during my wedding I think I will cry like some tap water lahx... diaox... maybe not... who knows... wait till my wedding bells ring then... haha... JJ is so sweet towards his friends... :)

ONe more thing... I think I must be mad man.... working like shit and hell and got my pay... THEN... I went to buy MAYDAY CONCERT TICKETS... 我的头壳坏掉了! I think I must be mad.... $168!!!! 贵死了！贵死了！Luckily I got some subsidies from my sis (who is the 罪魁祸首）that in the end I only pay 120... but still alot of money nia!!! I think last week I fever until my brain burn until I become sotong already... throw my hard-earn money away... sobbsss....

2010-01-15T21:58:00.002+08:00

I remember listing out a number of things to do after A-levels... But i barely done half of it... I am too lazy.... but at least I got a job... beats rotting at home... but my pay is damn miserable... So... I was complaining to Veron about it... and then she was like... what for you wanna work so much? We work now is to kill time, you are not trying to earn as much money as you can now you know... this period may be the last time you can actually sit down relax and enjoy the day... Alf said the same thing too... hmm... but i am enjoying too much that recently, my thoughts keep running wild... I really need things to do to divert that attention... :(

And that topic is some thing i don't wish to think or talk about until march... you guys should know what is it for I know that I am not going to be happy that day... And recently while mass applying for jobs, ppl call and assumed that I can work until july... they are not wrong... but the more call on this I pick up... I can't help but think... where do I really want to go for the next phase of my journey...

I have always insisted that I want to be a physiotherapist... but I am not closed to any other options... just because physiotherapy is a diploma course... I spoke to my mum about it... but she dosen't seems to like the idea of me going to poly... neither do my friends... some think it's ok... some think it's a waste of time... so now... I am really stuck between choices.... I don't want to make anymore regretting choices... I don't want people to influence my choice... but now I am really messed up... to this particular question that many calls I pick up recently never fail to ask.

"When can you work until?"

Should I say April... or should I say June??? What should I say? This may sound pretty lame to many... but to me... it's 矛盾

我的矛盾你了解吗？
我不想再做让我后悔的选择
我不想再让痛苦卷土重来

DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT AM I FEELING NOW??

Anyway... I actually only wanted to talk about my shoe... Complaining before I talk about my main subject seems to be a routine for blogging... anyway... Yup... shoe.... I WANNA BUY A HIGH CUT SHOE!!! Anyone got lobang? or know where you can get high-cut sneakers of reasonable price? You know... I am not trying to buy a brand... I am just trying to buy a shoe of good quality... so ppl... please don't tell my converse... for I think... for the case of converse... I am buying their brand... not their quality... So... I e-mailed SMG.... they have high-cut sneakers by greedt genius... but it sells freakingly at SGD135!!! OMG... I am not buying gold... anyway... even if I want... they wouldn't have my size... cause they only sell men's size UK9-12... my feet not that big lah....

Oh yah.... I just found out yesterday... JJ Lin clubs@ REBEL!!! (Shocking) Haha... REBEL was the club or bar or I donno what that we went the other day... the dance floor is a cage... haha... No wonder REBEL rings a bell in my head... Now I know why I find then REBEL logo so familiar... :)

2010-01-06T15:12:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I tend to regret taking up the job at Q&M... Cause the working hours make it difficult for me to look for another job... Yes. I do like that job cause it's pretty manual and although the pay isn't good, but as I have been saying, I work not because I wanna earn money (well... not piority) but is to earn work exprience. So pay dosen't really matter to me as long as I am sure that I am not underpaid... yup...

But now that Q&M work really walk into Ad-hoc basic... (PS: I only work mon and thurs this week!!!) I feel that it time to look for another job... then I realised that I can't cause the working hours cannot come into terms... most office hours ends at 6 but my work at Q&M starts at 6. I don't know how to teleport you see... yup... so now i have became a half 事业人士...

Haiz... and due to my principles and other factors, I am unwilling to give up the job at Q&M although I don't really like the Dr and staff there... but this is just part and parcel of the working society... so... I am quite fustrated at this moment... I have been on job central for the past two days but no one called back and there is not much jobs that I can make an agreement with both sides....

Also, I wanna volunteer at SGH but now that our card is changed to adult fare, going down to SGH with my miserable pay from Q&M, I find it very bo hua leh... so if i could find a job by this week, I will volunteer myself at SGH. If not... I can try to think of other ways bahx...

说一声加油一切更美好
所有的悲伤请往边靠
曾流过的泪
湿了伤口就让
阳光嗮干而褪

这一种加油人人都需要
手牵手我们一起赛跑
说好不见不散
每分每秒守候你到老

歌名：加油！
作词人：林俊杰
作曲人：林俊杰

这首歌送给所有需要加油的朋友加油！GAMBATTE!

btw, this is not the full song... it's the chorus only... Anyway... ppl you should listen to JJ's new album 100days.... Cause this is the first time I like the whole album of a singer, all the songs (except one song lah... make a guess which one) and I think it's a very well done album. 不亏是经过挫折后的产品:))

Anyway, don't know where to listen the songs? It's right here in my blog... see that i donno what on the left hand side of this post below my profile? click them... you can get a sneak preview of his songs... if not, you can go youtube, haoting, or wadever music channels you have... 一张值得期待不辜负众望的完美专辑。

林俊杰- 100天加油!

2009-12-31T22:06:00.002+08:00

Argh! I just missed the opportunity to earn a 1.5 times pay just because I forgot tml is FRIDAY!!! I keep thinking that tml is SAT and I am going sentosa tml... ZZzzzz.... Thanks lah... There goes my pay...

Anyway... It's new year's eve... I shall blog about happy events instead of angry ones... haha... this year... I am counting down at home... that's pretty pathetic... but somehow... as I grow older... festive seasons dosen't mean as much as before... In the past... if someone forgets my birthday... I might be quite sad... and I remember it's very silly of me one year that my family could not get a cake for my birthday and I cried... -_-''' Now... even if anyone forgets my birthday... I find it ok... no cake? Fine... haha... Same goes for chinese new year... in the past new year always means new clothes and pretty dress... but now... the rxn would be... New Year? Huh... have to go shopping again... haiz... Same goes for new year... in the past i use to love count down... but now... 3, 2, 1! Happy new year.... *handshake* *a hug* say goodbye... yah...

回顾这一段完美的人生（2009):

今年不是我风光的一年
走过大大小小的路
经历大大小小的挫折
至今有些还无法平复
当然的
今年也因为不风光
所以也让我看到了自己的软弱
自己不为人知的一面
我做了一个自己在从前都觉得自己不会是的那种人

2009 给了我一上了一个宝贵的人生课
让我感觉在今年以前我都活在自己的世界里
自己那完美的世界里

2009 让我犯了人类的七大罪名
Extravagance （奢华）
Greed (贪污）
Acedia （忽略）
Despair （不满）
Warth (愤怒）
Envy （嫉妒）
Pride （自尊）

以前我不在乎奢华享受
只想安安分分的过日子
虽然觉得我拥有的不多
但不觉得缺了什么
但现在不一样了
我想要的我会想办法得到
明明不缺什么
但想要更多
名牌货看上眼了
冒牌货歧视了
可能是因为长大了吧

贪污我可能改善了吧
我没有以前那样贪污的念头
嗯这是好事
也应该是我今年唯一的好事

我今年忽略的人实在太多了
明知道被忽略的感觉是什么
但还是无法不经意的忽略了别人
现在关系僵了
话也无从说起
那句我一直想说的道歉也说不出口了
我忽略了家人的关心感受
我忽略了朋友对我的好意

今年我不满的事情实在太多了
说个两天也说不完吧
我不满家人对我的不了解
但现在我知道他们才是最了解我的人
我不满朋友对我的忽略
但现在的我知道她们并没有想要这么做
她们并不是没有敞开胸怀的接受我
而是我自己没有敞开胸怀的接受她们

今年令我愤怒的事情也很多
我愤怒自己不重用
愤怒自己的愚蠢自己的自私
我愤怒家人对我没有信心
愤怒他们这样的贬低我

我不相信人没有嫉妒心
以前的我有嫉妒心但是良性的嫉妒
今年的我也有嫉妒心但是恶性的
我今年的嫉妒心真的让我看清楚我邪恶的那一面
那样恐怖的我我是第一次看见
这嫉妒让我觉得我很坏很邪恶
我不想再面对着样的我了
它让我觉得以前的我根本就在演戏
让我觉得真正的我不是善良好相处
而是邪恶有动机随时会在你背后捅你一刀的那种人
我真的无法相信我既然会是这一种人

每个人都有自尊我当然也有
我今年因该没犯这样的罪吧
有也不记得了

所以2009
我虽然痛恨这一年
因为它带给我的痛苦很难忍受
但我也要感谢2009
它让我看清我的世界不是只有我一个
我的世界不是完美无缺
它让我看清我并不单纯
让我上了宝贵的课

不要再见了2009
也谢谢你给我18年一帆风顺的人生起一个波浪让我在踏入社会之前感受到低潮挫折无助的时候

GOODBYE 2009!!
WELCOME 2010!!

我想和吴慧敏卢家慧梁诗韵曾庆文胡立轩做永远的好朋友！我2010年唯一的愿望！

2009-12-24T13:17:00.003+08:00

I am BACK from Thailand! Haha... It wasn't as fun as i expected it to be... but overall... it was ok... Pics... I am debating again whether i should put it on facebook or blogger... I tried on blogger and the freaking com... disconnected.... so... I didn't manage to post some of the pics here... You guys would be shocked how clear the water is man... haha... i shall post it another day then... then i tell you my journey to thailand... haha...

Anyway... I had a pleasant surprise on departure day (17/12)... Make a guess who I saw in Changi Airport on departure? I saw an artiste... I hope it's JJ.... but too bad... he wasn't.... haha... But i do somehow... like them... is a them... 2 person to be specific... haha.... Anyway... I don't think anyone will care who i saw lahx... But I am just happy that this is the first time I saw an international artiste in the airport... Haha... Oh yah... I haven't say who I saw... I saw 2 members of Fahrenheit... Arron Yan and Jiro Wang (I suppose it's Jiro cause my subconcious tells me it's calvin).... Yup... No idea why they are in Singapore... but they are leaving for Taiwan... It's purely coincidental that i saw them... and it's my mum who saw two suspicious looking character and ask me if it's them... lol... if not i think i will just walk pass them without noticing... Then my mum suggested to take photo with them... actually I want... but I don dare... cause it's like so damn 丢脸 lahx... I also donno why i will feel embarassed... Haha... then I told my sis when we came back and she ask... even if you really wanna take pic with them... do you think they will accept? Coming to think of it... Well... maybe not... haha...

So this is my pleasant surprise i had on departure day.... Haha... my trip to thailand.... next post together with pics bah.... :)

Then after the trip... I went back to work... announced the end of my training... which means that now I am only working night shift 6-9 and it's not everyday... So i am looking for another job... which has flexible working hours or normal working hours from 8-5.... Went to job central... applied for an admin job... the person called... I was so tempted to take up the job cause it's for the govt and armed forces (ppl who is close enough to me will know that I somehow... in one way or another admires armed forces... and sometimes goes abit over) and the place not very far away.... I was about to say yes... when the person say the working hour is from 9-6... and I was 晴天霹雳！AHHHHH!!! Then I told him I got another job which starts from 6... then he ask if i am willing to give up the job for this job... and I told him no... of course not... I signed contract with Q&M lah... Then when I hung up... I almost want to call back and negotiate with him if I can work from 8-5 instead... haiz... but I didn't.... anyway... the pay is not the pay that everyone will accept... but to me... it's not the pay that matters... I really want that job!!! haiz... So i decided that I shall only start looking for work in Jan... let me catch my breath and pack my table... for the last week of dec...

Oh yah! Before I forgot.... THANKS TO ALL WHO WISHED MY A HAPPY BIRTHDAY! AND THANK YOU... HUIMIN, SIYUN, VERONICA, ALFRED AND LIXUAN FOR THE WONDERFUL TUESDAY AT ECP AND CLARKE QUAY! LOVE YOU GUYS LOADS! AND THANK YOU FOR THE WINNIE THE POOH! I LOVEEEE IT LOADS!

OH.... and btw... if Veron or Seiyu happens to stop by my blog...

VERON: may i know where the hell is your tagboard for your blog?? And can you change a blogskin? your blog is very dull... haha!

Seiyu: Do you still want the nitendo? You going this St. James this sat? Cause I going Malaysia next tues... and I think I am going to buy... want me help you buy? empty nitendo... RM 200 plus if I am not wrong...

2009-12-12T19:13:00.004+08:00

Today... I was suppose to go for the YAH birthday bash... but I didn't turn up... hiaz... feel quite guilty now... instead of going there... I actually stayed at home and watch my Black and White AKA 痞子英雄. Recomended show. Nice... Don't know why i wanna watch it in the first place... nobody that i like... but after watching is think Mark Zhao is DAMN COOL!!! haha... for a newbie... he is very good... if there's a movie coming up... i wanna watch... haha...

And... I log on to facebook to find that i am being tagged for prom photos!!! 晴天霹雳! Don mind anyway... now i wondering if i wanna post the pics on facebook... or should i post it here??? Haha... post some of my fav photos here bah... I should be posting the rest on facebook... omt... so many pics to upload man...haha...

The dog is damn kawaii... haha... it licks you like nobody's busniess... haha... More pics in facebook... going to be up like dono when.. after i come back from my hols? I still got kusu island and marina barrage haven upload... haiz...

Btw... JJ Lin's Album is coming out on 18th Dec!!!! Wootx.. Saw the mv... AHHHHHHH!! kkz... i am going mad... this time... by hook or by crook... i am going to buy... the last album i was waiting for a gai ban... and then... HE NEVER COME OUT WITH ANY GAI BAN!!! kkz... Shall not complain... kudos... Watching SEA games while blogging....

记得支持JJ 的【100天】！强力推荐【第几个100天】 :)

2009-12-08T22:35:00.003+08:00

Actually I am damn lazy to blog... but i wanna blog about prom yesterday...WAHAHAHAHA...

Well... Prom was ok... I didn't really take as much pictures as i thought i did... cause I sort of smile until muscle cramp lah... and blinded by alot of flashlights... Anyway... Yesterday veron was all over the place... and my biggest regret... NO INDIVIDUAL PHOTOS WITH MISS GOH AND MISS ZHANG AND MISS CHEW!!!! SOBS SOBS X100 Haiz... and the clique photo is abit de blur lah... and without wanrong... that guy... got girlfriend dowan friends liao... haahaa... you should see how the two of them enter the place man... and we went to take photos with them... and me and veron looks like we are taking a wedding photo... ya... Anyway... I also ran around lahx... but not as much as veron...

Then the post-prom activity... total unglam. We wanted to go blacony bar... then it closed down lerx... so we went to orchard tower instead... Oh... I help the guys carry their coat man! this is the first time i help a guy carry coat... haha... quite cool actually... kkz... i think i am mad... In the end we wanted to go st. james but never open... then we want to go supper club (i suppose it's spelt like that) full... then we walk from orchard ion all the way to somewhere further down dobyghaut barefooted... cause we took off the freaking heels... And I think i damn noob... cause my one not even heels... haha... but cause the back of the shoes is giving me blisters... so i decided to take it off... haha... So we walk... and then wanted to walk to clarke quay... but wanna die liao... so stop by kopitiam and stone there until 2 plus and junwen suggested to drink my the river... I can't imagine myself drunk and sleeping by the river in prom attire... kkz...very unlikely it will happen anyway... ya... so I decided to go home... and so me alf and veron went home while lixuan shiva and huimin went to drink by the river... haiz... pathetic post prom activity... just not our day... monday... pubs either don open or close by 2... haha...

Went k-box at jurong SAFRA today... inside is totally diff from the k-box i went to in the past man... the 'remote control' is touch screen one seh... and the tv is LCD one leh... donno wad to say lah... haha... you can go check out yourself... but warning... no student price there... haha

Oh... Prom pics I will post... but another day... anyone who dowan their faces up on my blog... can spam my tagboard or just tell me personally... haha

2009-12-05T19:25:00.002+08:00

A's is finally over! But problems have not yet end...
One day ago I am worrying that i wouldn't be able to get a job.
One day later... I am sandwiched in the middle of two jobs which both I am unwilling to give up and would be force to give up the later one if there cannot be an agreement...
Is this life?
Why do we have to always make choices?

Anyway... I PLAYED the whole day of com today! DAMN SHUANG can... haha... you can see how long I have deprived myself from games... Oh... And I signed up for a facebook account... haha... add me if you want... Easy to find... haha....

Thurs went for new moon and sorry to say... but I almost slept in the theather... Not that the show is not nice... but it's just that after you have read the book... you seems to know what's going to happen next and it dosen't tempt you anymore... haiz... unlike twilight... but comparing the two... I prefer twilight... No blames anyway... as new moon the book itself is pretty boring... haha... And Jacob is OH MY TAIN the macho and cool MAN! I was like 0.o!!! And funniest thing happened in the cinema... There's one scene the robert patterson took off his clothes... and one girl in the theathre scream ,Eww so ugly.... OMG... At first i thought it was Seiyu cause it sounds like... but it's not lahx... anyway... that scene is really ugly... Edward is really ugly...

Prom's just two days away... I haven't bought my acessories!!!! Anyway... I might as well just go without any acessories... Doing Mani and maybe pedicure tomorrow... what colour should I paint my nails man! Haiz... Prom is irritating... I spend near to 300 buck already... haiz... Why on earth am I spending so much money for an event that I solely just wanted to go there and take pictures???

2009-11-18T21:33:00.004+08:00

I only have one word for my A-levels... That is... 惨!!!!

Haiz... Today's econs paper was a total sucks...
So much for me pia-ing macro policy...
YOu know what the toot came out?
NID and NIS!!! Circular flow of income!!! (超冷门的!)
Then the micro was worse... You can't even choose a question that you fully knows what it want man! Hiaz...
The globalization questi0n was... fine... i bet the easiest of all... but I suddenly can't remember the points!! ZZzzz... Lost motivation for studying econs man... Haizzzzz.....

Well... Not my motive for blogging... 不想提起伤心事... Now, i think I have problem clearing J2 man... Even maths which I have the most confidence in was a total failure... and I think it's super dumb to fail maths for a national exam... cause singaporeans are suppose to be good in maths... cambridge standard... Welll... Anyway... Anyone interested in looking at how 荒谬and 创新 cambridge is this year... You can get the maths, GP econs and chem papers from me... ZZzzzz....

Ok.. to my motive of blogging... Cause I was telling Huimin that after A-levels I think I will feel empty and 失去方向 cause i have been mugging for so long that I forgot how living life is like... Then she told that she did a to-do list after As to keep her in track... So I shall do it too... Cause I have alot of unfufilled wishes... Opp cost for studying...

TO DO LIST:
- Thailand trip -> Puhket
- Volunteer under SPCA
- Try out as a physiotherapist or a occupational therapist
- Work (That's of course)
- International voluntary work
- K-box (I can't remember when was the last time I went)
- Learn Dancing (Particularly Hip-hop)
- Bake
- Cook
- Slim down ****
- Finish my unfinished work
- 和老朋友叙旧
- 保留现有的友情
- Taiwan
- Sports (Netball especially)
- Go Sentosa! (I am devoid of the sun for damn long)
- Shopping Spree (这很难得!)

That's all i remember... for now.. I still feel i forgot something very important... Haha...

我会变得更勇敢
我不会再轻易掉泪
我不会再轻视自己的生命
我会改变等全新的我东山再起吧!

2009-10-10T18:01:00.003+08:00

I had sudden realization that doing maths can also shape a character...

I was doing vectors for the past 1 hour and I only did 3 question...

Wanna know why?

Cause I keep having mistakes...

First... I copy wrong number...

next... I forgot to square...

Then... see question wongly...

ZZZzzz.... Vectors is getting on my nerves...

Damn irritated now...

Hmm... Maths is after of a test of patience...

I wonder how long more do i need to take to finish that freaking TYS...

I still wanna do my complex and differentiation one leh!

Oh... I was complaining about buying another SWATCH and I couldn't find the ones I like right? And I was saying that there was a SWATCH showcase in Beijing not long ago... Here are some designs that I find it pretty nice... Copyrights and credits goes to JJ Lin's Official Website :)

So it started off with this... Blank...

Then... The artist came to draw and design on the watches... and while they were doing...

This is SUPER cool...

And this... IS SO NICE!!! I LOVE IT!!!! Hope they do produce this watch... :))))

Yup... Abit kiddy... But I think is damn nice... YES man... HOHOH.... Again... Credits goes to JJ Lin's Official website... :) Can make a visit if you wan to...

Webbie: http://www.jjfusion.com/

2009-09-07T23:33:00.000+08:00

虽然迟了一点但今天的我发现这里没有我的容身之地。不管走到那里都感觉是多余的。为何我会有这种想法呢？连我自己也不晓得。所以我也不盼望朋友会知道。

曾经很想问你们这几句简单却对我来说充满意义话：

如果我消失了
你们会在多久之后发现呢？
一小时？两小时？还是突然想起我时才发现我以不在了？
答案。。。我从没想也不想知道。

如果我累了，脱队了
你们会责怪我吗？
答案。。。我想我知道。

如果你们想出去玩
但你们知道我最近心情不好
可能会破坏你们的美好时光
你们会叫我吗？
答案。。。我想知道。

你们不必多说我也知道你们并不会多看我一眼
我是一个在你们没人约没人管的时候想起的一个朋友吧
就像一个你小时候很喜欢的一个洋娃娃
曾经喜欢的不得了
后来没兴趣了就随手丢到一边去
回过头突然想起洋娃娃的存在
再去拥抱它。
我想。。。我在你们的心目中因该是这样的洋娃娃吧。。。

今年的生日
有谁会记得？
不要让我想那女孩一样
许一个那么不开心的愿望。。。

最后我当今的心情就如这句话吧。。。

『是否我沉默了，你才能听到我的心声
是否我停止了，你才能看到我的眼泪
是否我心碎了，你才会摸到我的心痛
是否我消失了，你才会知道我的存在』

完毕。

2009-09-05T22:22:00.000+08:00

Results sux...
So I went retail therapy today...
Well... Pretty weird for me to go retail therapy...
Haha...
Anyway, I finally bought my shoe... and I think I wanna buy another one >.<
Haiz... Addiction is fatal...

BBQ on monday... Whheeee...
Should I massage them to go mountain climbing?
I should.... Maybe I should not...
Haiz... 明天再说...
How many more tomorrows do I have?

Many thinks that immunity is good...
Now I think immunity is not good at all...
I am immune to failure...
Plunged for maths and I am not feeling as sad as I thought I would be...
I should be sad...
I should be unhappy...
I should cry...
I should....
Why do I have to tell myself that I should be sad? Isn't this suppose to be a natural feeling?
Haiz... 人生....

Living is getting harder and harder as the days go by...

2009-08-29T12:23:00.000+08:00

Prelim finally over... Yippeeeeeee!
Ok... It's not like I put in my heart and soul for this prelim --> Cause have been mugging for so long until I think prelim period I fatigue liao... LOL...
Anyway... The end of prelims also means that there is not much time left from now the 09-11-09...Haiz...

Who was the one who told me A-level is just A LITTLE BIT stressful than o level?!!!!
I have have a hell hard time for A's than O's can.... It's not A LITTLE BIT... It's ALOT can... So lesson learnt... NEver listen to what others say... Believe in yourself....

Why earth did I choose this path!!! I should have stayed to my will back then... 我真是一个不定心的人啊! 算了。。。下次就死死坚持我的理念和我相信对我自己最好的。。。

Anyway... Recently.... I seem to have a self realization... I am not that kind hearted as I thought I am (OMG~ I am so dowan face) and my 心胸也没有很宽阔 like some people think... I think I am a very petty person... I think Veron seems to know that... Haha... I get angry very easily... especially during this period of time... and when I get angry... I don't scold I don't scream... but I will have a black face... and keep very quiet... cause I am afraid I will scold and scream when I open my mouth... LOL... Hmm... sometimes I want to hide my anger... because sometimes... you are just angry with yourself... it has totally nothing to do with anybody... but the people around you seems to be your victim... and I feel very selfish and bad to pull friends down... 人家的好心情就因为我的黑脸而变成坏心情... This dosen't seem to be the way I want it... So people... next time you see my black face... just don care.. OK? I will be better after awhile... Can self recuperate one... Hahaa... So I don't think I am a kind of person who is able to help... I can be a good listener but never a good advisor... And sometimes... Your story may make be very emotional... and when everything bottles up... The next person who add that last ingredient will be my victim... Sometimes it's actually not the person fault... the person just so happen to push the button... So I am really sorry for that last person... yup...

Ok... I am blabbering rubbish... as you can see... no sentence structure one... The moral of the story is... I have this sudden self realization that physiotherapy dosen't seem to be a right job for a person like me... what if one day I blast at my patient... I will be like OMG!!! And I am pretty a pessimist...

Maybe I will change for the better... but currently... I am opening myself up to some other courses... Physiotherapy although still on the top of my list... It dosen't mean it can't be replaced... :)

原本答应自己要保持一段距离
所以在离开时才不会觉得特别的痛苦
但我却让你们一步一步的接近
这样-如果你们真的离开了我
我也不知道我会不会痛苦得无法自拔
我不想被捅一刀有一刀

完毕 :)

2009-08-22T20:58:00.000+08:00

Is there something wrong with blogger or is it just my coms?
Both my laptop and the CPU is having problem with blogger..
This page is damn weird... LOL...

Hetic week is finally over...
Imagine yourself having 3 content-based paper for one day...
It's a total OMG!
And the stupid thing that happened yesterday...
There was one question on defining enthalpy change of formation under standard conditions.
And my answer ended with ceteris paribus.... OMG...
I think I went mad... I almost laughed out lah...
If I really did I think the people and teachers will look at me like I am mad...
Haha...

Anyway, This prelim is very weird for me...
Hmm... Donno how to put it into word...
Just feeling too slack for a prelim...
Haiz...
Is this good or bad??

2009-08-01T11:23:00.001+08:00

As the time nears, everyone inevitably gets stressed up and become sensitive to even the tiniest thing
But this is the very time we test how this friendship holds.
Many believes that friends in High school and university will be your friends for life.
Or at least for a longer period of time compared to those you made friends with in Sec and pri school but I seem to have some doubts to that...
I don't know how many agrees to this...
But it does matter to me...

101 Days... See me shine :)

2009-07-10T23:01:00.004+08:00

My prophecy came true... I totally flunked my Chem paper like some shit... yah... So do I expect to flunk my bio worse than what I expected because ms goh said it was very easy to mark... you know why? Cause all she need to do is to strike out the whole page and put zero... or put crosses because we didn't even answer the question... I think this time we really made her very angry that she gave up on us... Anyway, she was saying that she wants all As for S01... and said that we are brilliant... but I seriously think that she didn't count me (the lost sheep) into the brilliant S01 class... yah... I am hell sure I can't ace my bio lahx (although I want to Ace it alot)...

Well... Even though I expected my bio the fail... I think abit too highly of myself... I thought I will do well in the MCQ... and in the end? I failed... I think I am the sole failure in the class lahx... haiz.... and she asked me again... did you study? Yes... I studied... but for the whole common test... I am so crushed up that my mind is not thinking at all... Not processing anything... Hiaz.... I flunk even the MCQ and I can say good game to paper 2 liao lolx... Bye...

I hope that I fail the chem paper because of time management.... Because I really left almost 20 marks blank... yah... but some how... I don't really think so... I shall try the paper again during the weekend... Haiz... I flunk chem... My favourite subject... Somehow... people don't always do well in their favourite subject... yah... somehow... I like chem but I can't get pass the C grade. Then veron likes bio and she is also not doing well in it. Then huimin likes maths.... Although she is doing well... but I think she is not very satisfied with her maths results either... haiz... why does things go this way? What you like, you don't do well... What you don really like... You are doing pretty well.... I don't like maths... but I think I am doing pretty well for it... But I like chem and I flunk like no busniess.... What is this man...

Oh yah... and all the teachers said that we are blind... Haha... first day of school... First lesson... Ms Zhang was like... Your chem common test huh.... Hiaz.... then the typical haiz face... jia lat.... Then she commented that our class is blind... you all don't read the question.... And today she was checking my paper... she was like... You people need to go for reading lessons... I was like... Hahaha.... oh... and she said my section A was ok... And section B was horrendous.... haiz... no time... brain died.... yah.... Back to the blind part... Then we went for maths... Mdm goh was like, the question said to write in exact form and you all write in decimal points... You all are blind.... The second one liaox.... Then went for bio.... and ms goh.... totally disspointed with our class that she even said... don't care about the 交代 part... I will answer to it... and said that S1 gone crazy for this common test... really sad.... and she said that everyone in our class is blind... haiz... 3rd teacher.... then go for GP.... Ms chew was going through the common test paper 1... and she was talking about the culture question and said that we are BLIND to ignore the word ever... haha.... 4th teacher... and guess how many teachers I have in total? 5.... so only left with econs chew who haven say that we are blind... and i think she won't so bad one lahx... So are we really blind? I don't know... maybe I am.... selectively blind...

Anyway... I was lucky that I passed GP... Yes... I passed GP when half the class failed... Somehow... I think it's luck... my paper 2 AQ.... the teacher was like commenting on my weak LOA and I still manage to pass the AQ... I mean 4 marks lah... then yanting and veron one was like... good LOA and arguement... then 3 marks... I was like ???? why???? Maybe the teacher see I failing so badly liao then let me pass.... who knows? Then paper 1... veron have like good arguments and examples.... and seiyu just had uninspiring examples and points... and they both get only 25... and me... not answering part of the question... weak LOA.... then still can get 27... h0ow? I also donno.... I think it's pure luck that I passed my GP this time... Maybe I should continue to belief in luck now... haha....

One day... Maybe I would become so immune to failure that it will not become a motivation anymore.... And I seriously hope... this is not going to come any soon... and please don't come soon... can come after A-levels? It's better to be worry and cry because you fail instead of having the 'fail ah? nevermind lah... always fail one... never pass before...' attitude... Somehow... I think I am starting to develop this immunity... can someone come and 刺激 me?

2009-07-04T21:45:00.004+08:00

Maybe the comment was just a voice of thoughts...
Maybe it was unintentional...
Maybe it serve as a hard knock for me...
But that comment made me deep in thoughts for the whole night...
Today morning... the moment I open my eyes...
The thought came back...
It never left me...
till now...
Since I made that decision...
I shall not regret....
At least that's what I can trying to convince myself now...

Today I went to watch TRANSFORMERS!!! WHOO!! The movie is so damn nice! Why did anyone even critic it? oK... I am taking an extreme view... But I don really like the last part cause I can't really differentiate between the autobots and the decepticons (is it spelt like that? I doubt so...)... Ok... I am noob... and the four of us is damn weird... no one watch transformers 1 and went to watch transformers 2... then I was sort of lost in the first 10mins of the show trying to remember which are the good robots and which are the bad... haha... But I like the twins(The red and green one) and bumble bee is also very cute... haha... I like the autobots lahx... they were really great... And michael bay even added humour in... I was like laughing all the way lah... the main lead also very funny... haha... and megan fox is really hot... Leo is funny too... His dorm mate... haha... Now I know why transformers is such a blockbuster.... I wouldn't wanna miss transformers 3... WHOOO!

Anyway... HM asked me today... "Why do you want to be a physiotherapist?" And I told her.... I don't know how to put that feeling into words... In the first place... It's ironic and ridiculous that an introvert like me would want to work as a physiotherapist which is considered under social work... It start out during this adam khoo workshop where the trainer told us to draw out our life path... What we wanna do in the future... And then I was fliping through the book and saw physiotherapy.... Then I was thinking... physiotherapy is such a cool job.... It's offered in Singapore? And so for the sake of writing a life path... I wrote physiotherapy... Then I thought it's just writing for the sake of writing... But somehow... this passion grew... I wanted more and more to be a physiotherapist... I want to help... The satisfaction of your patients walking out your clinic... they came in in a wheelchair.... then months later... they walk out... the sense of appreciation they have for you... the sense of satisfaction you have for yourself... isn't it great? Well... it may just be what i think.... Maybe patient wouldn't thank you... I thought it just a impluse act... something that I will soon not care about... But now I am very sure... yes... I want to be a physiotherapist... i really want to be... And I really hope this is not an impluse act... I remember... in primary school.... I wanted to be a marine biologist... In sec 2, I want to be a nutritionist... in sec 3... I want to be a navy... and sec 4 a physiotherapist... every year... my ambition changed... but this time... it stayed... and it grew... I am really happy for myself... Ok... this took me quite sometime to type out... my 'feelings'... I told you it can't be put into words... so this is the best I can do...

Anyway... yesterday I went swimming at CDANDS... It has been years since I went there... and I am like so damn noob... I can't even find the changing room... -_-''' kkz... anyway... It feels really good to swim.... if there is nothing much to do this coming weekend... I think I am going to go for another swim... Anyone care to go with me? Haha... Better not... you will vomit our what you ate 2 days before... haha... :)

2009-07-02T22:18:00.002+08:00

Common test is finally over... And you know how I feel? I felt like I finished As... and if that's really the case... I am going to flunk my As with flying colurs... Analysis?

Maths paper- Hmm... It's relatively ok but higher standard than previous tests. Btw... I like sitting in the very front of the row... I think it helps me concentrate better... or maybe it's because it's first paper and I had a slacky sunday that made me concentrate? and think better? Who knows...

Chem paper- TOTAL goner... I 太对不起 MS zhang lerx... 40 mark question... 20 mark never do... 10 marks of crap... Then paper 1... 'you still have 15min' guess wad question I am at? question 18... How many question in total? 40. How much time I used to do the 18 question? 45mins. Yup... So it's going to be pretty a miracle if I can even get an S grade for Chem...

Econs paper- It's do-able... but my mind is not thinking that day... essay on microeconomy part a if you minus away my graph... the essay is only half a page long...hhaa... half a page for 10 marks? You wait a million years... Then macro... I write and write and write until the last 10mins... I found out that I am not concentration on the right policy... -_-''' total shame... My econs is going to drop from A to S liaox... 天堂到地狱...

Bio paper- I didn't start out with any hope of passing that damn paper... But MCQ turn out alright... Maybe 平常心 is better... Cause I think I wanted to do well so much for econs that I tend to think alot and stress myself up alot... But paper 2 turn out a disaster for me... haha... I didn't finish the paper... hmm... as expected... And I started out with essay and halfway through the structured qns... I found a similar question... so I am wondering if I wrote my essay out of point? Lol... this is stupid...

So... if you think I can pass my CT... please tell me... Cause I am very sure this time I am going to 垫底 in S01 liao... Ranking point drop from 72 to 40 something bah... lolx...

Then CT do until like that this girl still wanna go for PSC scholarship talk... really... think too much lahx...haha...

Oh yah... I did say I felt like As is over... cause for some reason or another... I am super high... super happy.... I can't stop smiling... --> omg... she went mad from overdose of studying... Why I feel like that? Can some physchologist come tell me? Overstress? Lack of sleep? Fatigue??? Denial?

Oh... and through this common test... I finally felt what is stress... the stress that is totally out of my control... the stress that I have totally no control of... thoughts that I didn't have in the past came... Mood swings are more and more often... and I am starting to live in denial... denying that I am not taking my As this year... lol... symptoms of depression? haha...

I WANT WATCH TRANSFORMERS!!!

Btw... How long with the michael Jackson thing last? another week I suppose... He is really a great person although I have no particular feelings for him... but I saw his videos on youtube... 1 one... COOL.... slick moonwalk and he really pops like a freaking robot.... Now I see why JJ and many other artiste and musicans see him as a enternal idol and stand by his side even with those scandals... and I was reading the papers yesterday and there is this 'headline' -
麦克杰迅-- 月球漫步一小步流行文化一大步....
I think it makes sense.... Go Michael Jackson!

放下- 也许会快乐些
放弃- 也许会解脱些

人生道路没人能替你走
自己的未来自己掌握
相信无限...

..::No one can stop you unless you stop yourself, No one will push you unless you push yourself. The choice is yours::..

2009-06-16T23:35:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, studying becomes so boring that you go into a state of stoning.
No matter how much you want to study (more of because you know if you don't study now, it's going to be too late.), nothing seems to go in.
Well... I think I am at this state for today...
Actually I was planning on finishing energetics and equilibrium... But I ended up finishing only equilbrium and have been staring at chen energetics since 8 but nothing went in... So it's equals to never study at all...

Looking at my schedule makes people stress... I am running behind shecdule for bio and chem (and so this is my two weakest subject, thanks lah). I was then planning of studying bio on thurs but it seems pretty impossible because of the Annual Retreat which i am very unwilling to miss. Tml still need to do the ambassador thing. --> I don't mind being a JJ ambassador... but you timing is just too perfect that it came when my whole life is in chaos and whirlpool... Too bad... you can't get that much support from me afterall... I do have my piorities.

Distractions are fatal at this time... So I might as well get rid of my distraction now... well... not really a distracton... it's more of an addiction.... Haiz... Look at how time flies when you are studying (yup... Ironically) that now you yourself is wondering if you could finish in time to sit PREPARED for the common test... For me... now, looking at the current situation, I can firmly telll you my answer... NO. I will not be prepared... I may have finished the notes but not the tutorials...

Again, I am falling short of teacher's expectation(Wait... Do they even have expectation of me? Or the expectation of the class? Who knows...) I am really very sorry about it... How many more sorrys do I have to say... honestly speaking... I have no idea...

Hiaz... Beiyii is blabbering nonsense in this post... I think she has gone mad from overdose of studying... Screwed.

2009-05-24T19:06:00.007+08:00

Ok.... I was you tubing after blogger... and this is wad I found...

*Screams* NEW MOON poster!!! and look at the hell date! A-levels!!! Hope and pray that it wouldn't close shop so early then... And in my opinion lahx... Edward's ugly in the poster... Jacob changed alot... maybe it's because he chopped his hair... haha...

Oh... and if you are as excited as I am... the 'trailer' is also out on youtube... You friend here is lazy to embedd it... so I shall leave you guys the link... Whee.... Twilight Saga rox!

PS: all fake trailers... Official trialer coming out in August... :) But they look damn real!

Part1:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOQ2qv_isBA&feature=related

Part2:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCGcuE20heE&feature=related

Trailer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cZJCrt_NDk&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ng8XyRb1DT8

OK... I decided to stop... cause... There is alot... Zzzz.... weren't they great? Cool man!

Cheers to twilight~

2009-05-24T18:35:00.002+08:00

Talentime was great ^.^
But I felt abit like... hmm I am paying 4bucks to watch what i watched during the audition... but it's worth it... cause Crew 3042 rock the house man! They are damn cool! especially the locking part... haha... and huimin's comment was... gold with honours... haha... Then the english vocals YuNeng and Jayne is nice... powerhouse! Cool man! Too bad never bring camera... haiz...

What's worth more is we saw ms chew's little dylan!! So cute!!! I wanna take picture with himm... sobs... but they going off in a rush... he give us a pan kiss... wootz!!! Then the hubby dosen't look like someone who will debate with her... OMG!!! So cute!!! haha...

Holidays soon... but say goodbye... mass lessons for the first 2 weeks... goner... and my sis going China for 2 months... sobs... I am going to be in a cave for 2 months... waaaahhhh.... I dowan... anyone... ask me out? lol... zzz...

2009-05-19T22:03:00.005+08:00

Ok... Random post in the middle of the week... Anyway... You might see an emotional side... who knows...

Main reason... I added another fail to the bio records... thank you... thank you... and I am failing wonderfully... 11/40... Convert to 100% you tell me... 20 plus... total U grade... --> Goner in bio... Hiaz... Who knows how much I want to give up on Bio... The very subject that no matter how much effort, time and concentration I spent on it, I still cannot clear it or just managed to pass at borderline... I hate it...

If you say my studying method is wrong... I shouldn't be scoring for some subject and failing miseribaly for other subject... cause I study the subject in the very same way and method... I understand that not all subjects are studied the same way... but I know science subjects could be studied in the same method... it's not like I am scoring for chem... but if I redo my tutorials and do my tys, the A comes by easily... but for bio... the genetic retest... no one has any idea how much time I put in... I redo my tutorial, did tys questions (which I have no problem with) and what results did I get? 18/30... Just pass... What is this.... the for the test I got back today... I spent 1 week studying... 1 WEEKK!!!

So conclusion... My fate with Bio has ended after Sec 4.... I really have to thank god(if I believe in one) that I didn't give up on bio... and I suppose that I won't give it up now that I have walked 3/4 of my way to A-levels...

Hmm... enough of emo talks and complains... I actually wanted to put a youtube vedio here... but I am too lazy to scale that damn vedio down... so I just forget it... haha... the vedio is about iphones... Ok... iphone... So? This iphone is different!!! It's super cool... Strictly speaking... it's not iphone... it's itable... yah... 50-inch screen iphone... so it's called an itable actually... OMG~ it functions like a iphone with a bigger and better screen... I was like looking at the person play the warcraft, wahseh... the computor is noob... itable is pro... so damn fast... one touch, you flipped you invertory, another touch... you killed you ememies... one slide and you see the whole view of the battle ground... compared to the com... lagg, irritating mouse and stuff and the next thing you want is to smash that stupid computor... Then you can edit picture like a normal com... and draw and your drawing can talk to you... maybe seiyu should try it.... haha... ok... that itable operates just like an iphone... it's damn cool... AHhh.... i want.... but I think it will cost me a house... --> exgarate.... hohoh....

如果死亡可以得到解放
如果死亡可以解决一切烦恼
我愿意与死亡签约换取我心灵的解脱
但我很清楚的知道
这是不可能的事
也许这是我现在还活着的理由...
I will face all challenges with perserverance and determination...
I will never give up...

2009-05-16T13:51:00.002+08:00

I will make this a short one....

Two things that I hate the most about parent meeting... :(
1. Parents reprimanding their child in front of the teacher...
2. Teachers asking question that I have no answers to and saying that cannot say donno...

But I was satisfied with my results to be honest... who wouldn"t be happy with a ranking point of 71? but too bad... GP got S... cannot get into university also...dotx... And my results are of total extremes... AADE... yup.... The two ends of the spectrum... Haiz... But I am sad about chemistry... When you love a subject you would want to do well... but the thing is you are not performing...

Ms Zhang said to me... you know where you weakness is... but why are you not doing anything to tackle it? Let me tell you the answer... Ihave bad time management... The time I set aside to study for each test is only sufficient for me to finish the notes and read the tutorial... I don have the time to redo the tutorials... you see... and it is not that I set aside only 3 hrs to study... the truth is I set aside the whole day... but because I have very short attention span... I tend to space out very often and time flies now adays... so in the end... after building my sandcastles in the air... I have only sufficient time to READ my tutorial... Do you think I don want to boost my chemistry marks? Do you think I want to stay at the borderline wondering when I will fail the test? I don you see... But I cannot help it... spacing out every hour... feeling very restless...

Btw.. I think I sound pretty rude yesterday to my teachers... :X I don mean it... I really don... Lol... its not like the teacher will read this...

Oh yah... and ms goh has all along been thinking that I am not studying for her bio test... OMG~ I feel so... Zzzz.... I STUDIED like some shit can! To tell you honestly... I spend the most time on bio! I really do! I know wheres my weakness... I know I have to spend time on bio... and I am doing it... I am giving every subject an equal chance... I don"t focus on maths and econs... I give every subject equal time... equal attention... I am not bias towards any subject... hmm... maybe bias against GP but for my H2 subjects... I am not!

Maybe I am to a science type of student after all... And ms gohs was like saying my progress report look very weird... haha...

Btw... can someone answer me... Do I look very stress???

Oh yah! Before I forget... I saw jonathan on ST today... He won some ACS guy in squash 4-1... yah... haha...

If crying would help...
I am willing to tear till I am dried...

2009-05-02T21:55:00.002+08:00

I am real dead this time... Anyone here has an extra thermometer to lend me??? OMG! I am going to die... I surf the whole JP and market and there is no single freaking thermometer!!! OMG! 完了! 完了! Anyway I bought it from e-bay and the hell knows when I am going to get it... Hope I could get it by tml :(

Anyway... Ms Chew was talking about Paranoid VS complacency... I am not complacent but I really couldn't find and buy a freaking thermometer!!! And I think now.. being paranoid is better than being complacent... as she said...

Btw... I went for Gp consultation the other day.... she scolded me likes siao... haha... not really lahx... then somehow... my tap turn on and no matter how much I wanna stop I just can't.... Because at that time... I am really really very very scared! Very scared that I will flunk my GP again... fail another GP test... I am really afraid... and I donno why...

Stress? Who knows...

2009-04-24T20:07:00.005+08:00

Monday HM told me about the president command performance last sunday I was like OMG! I never watch... But I watched it today! :) Show you :)

Nice? Wonderful? Perfect? Well... it's pretty obvious that he is quite tensed at the front... His killa abit... yah... lol....

Oh... Now I am quite hooked up with badminton... haha... I like badminton! Hoho... Ok... I don't have the feeling to blog... wanna watch you tube :)

2009-04-09T19:55:00.006+08:00

Quote for the day:

Always expect the unexpected....

Today was the day I dread anyway... release of PW grades!!! Omg! I was like having butterflies in my stomach early in the morning can... But my grades turn out fine! I am so damn happy... I didn't expect it! Me and veron was like... die liao.... sure CMI one... haiz... But it turn out fine!! The report for us was great! And I seriously think that my GPF really helped me alot... cause my op... looking at the comments... I sort of screwed it up... But GPF comments were great... I it feels like the marker really liked my idea... full of praises... maybe that's how i got my grade :) Btw... we did on forensic science and we thought our WR was total crap can... but it turn out fine too :) thank too me lahx... i typed it... hehe.... OMG~ 在抢功劳 liao... haha... everyone has a part to play lahx... but I started out with the skeleton :) and I made the flyer which they commented about :))) Haha... So happy....

But overall JJ (the school) didn't do very well... sadded... But our class did well... compared to the other classes... I am seeing classes with only 1A and our class is not bad lerx...

Then bio pract we were talking to Ms Goh about scuba diving! She was like keep saying and saying and make me wanna dive somemore.... Zzzz.... and she saw DOLPHINS!!! OMG!!! OMG!!!! and loads of them!!! I want to see!!!! then also have turtle... but that's like very deep in the sea... so for a person who can't swim... like me... too bad... you can't go... haiz... I want go scuba dive!!! But I am going snorkel again this december!! Wheeee! I am going to have much more fun than 2yrs ago!!! Wheeeee~ Although I don get to see dolphins but pathetic shoals of fish... I am contented... haha... :)

2009-04-03T20:39:00.003+08:00

As you know.... I love to watch you-tube... and guess what I found tonight? wahaha....

JJ 09 Sg Concert 许怀良老师 + 林氏家族!
This is ultimate coolness can! Uniquely for Singapore... I didn't know JJ's family can play instruments! and he got Kawaii scene with his mum! Wootz... Damn cute! haha... But one bad thing.... lousy quality and got 杂音 very irritating... screaming throughout can... haha... and 许环良is like the emcee!! It's like once in a blue moon you see him hosting can... lol... Ultimate coolness... JJ Lin rox!

Enough of my JJ fantasy... Back to reality... has been waking up at 5.30 for the past 3 days... cause I studying Bio... haha... then huimin was like saying she never see me study in school... cause I mug like shit at home.... lolx... actually I intended to study in school one... but school got alot of distractions... haha... But actually honestly speaking... I am thinkning of waking up 5.30 every morning... do some revision before I go to school... somehow... I didn't really feel that tired... yup... so maybe I will try it for next week and see how... and I think my parent will be thinking that I am mad... haha... lol... Anyways... late I am planning my revision shecdule... cause I going to die liao... haha...

Then today... I wanted to donate blood! Then I qeue for like an hour and they REJECTED me!!! I am totally sian diao lahx... irritated.... It started off with Me, HuiMin, Sheryl and Veron... then I got rejected thanks to my rashes... lol... I shouldn't have ask the doctor can... she was like wanting to measure my Bp already... then I went like...

Me: I have a question
Doc Nod her head.
Me: If I got rashes can donate? *show her my rashes*
Doc: *got that OMG face* the other hand?
Me: *show the other hand*
Doc: *shake her head* I think better not.
Me: But it's sweat rashes!
Doc: To be safer, better not. Because they have to poke the needle in the region where you have rashes. *take out an I donno wad and started flipping and show me* You see. Rashes 14 days cannot donate...

Then I sian diao lolx... que for so damn long and got rejected thanks to my stupid question... wondering if she would find out if I never ask? haha... but last yr I got rashes the doctor also let me donate lehx... sadded... Then Sheryl got rejected cause they cannot find her vien... then huimin got rejected because the vien is too small... lol... So only left of little veron and she donate!!! Wootz! Life saver! Haha...

That's all... going to plan my shecdule and do the econs thingy...
Ultimate Fatigue...

2009-03-27T16:57:00.002+08:00

First week after the school hols... One word... TIRED!!! I am now like some walking corpse... haha... But the thing is I sleep at least 8hrs! lol.... anyway... I died for the first week... haiz...

Today went to the telematch... I didn't regret! Although I did when we had training... but today I didn't... it was fun! But honestly... the shirt sux.... Anyway... we didn't win... got last instead... haha... Cause at the starting, we already lagging behind thanks to the junior benjamin.... he last min got heart problem... diaoz... he should have like said it earlier... so they made JinHwee do the strecher and that damn maniquinn is like 90KG can... and the other teams got all guys lahx... hiaz... then JinHwee is suppose to do the fire extinguisher then in the end a J1 do... and then she wasn't well trained enough so we lagged behind at the very start... then the stretcher also cause no coordination and we have to go slower because of JinHwee, so we lag somemore... hiaz.... then by the time is Devi and my turn... when we started running, the other 3 teams are already on their way back... lolx.... diaoz... but we got sportmanship... so we ended the competetion lahx.... Then the other teams also not very good... 2nd or 3rd... so in the end the 4th div lost....

The international event is damn cool! First one I didn't see cause we preparing for our event... then second was the spiderman... abseling and then got this tunnel thing is like got one officer got stuck in the tunnel and ppl started pulling his leg... haha... and the most ridiculous thing is... they cut a car! and it look brand new!!! just to save a MANEQUINN!!! OMG! waste moolah can....

Then local events the first one was ours.... second was this climb to somewhere and save the victim... then 4th div was actually leading but in the end 3rd div caught up... sadded and you know wad! a motorcycle can got zigzag very smoothly and so cool.... this is normal... but an AMBULANCE doing the same thing???? It's MUCH MORE cooler!!!

See... that's why I didn't regret... it's a wonderful experience... I don mind going again... but this time not because I wanna pon bio... haha... But I felt abit bad about pulling the 4th div down in the point.... cause we got 4th... haiz... too bad... but I must say... my IPP is fast can... haha... but running CMI... hoho... :)

then moday had my 2.4... I almost died... anyway... I ran slower than before... retaking :) then 5 station I was sad that my standing broad jump was lousy... I think i retaking most of the stations... haha.... :)

2009-03-18T09:44:00.002+08:00

OMG~ 也太快了吧！My march hols is half gone! Sobs X100... It's already wednesday... Anyway, my decision to study like crazy during the march hols 泡汤了... Cause I think I damn stupid... Went to download audition on sunday and have been playing everyday... OMG~ No need to study lerx... I wanna 找回我对online gaming 的热诚.... hhaa... But I got self discipline one lolx... I only play for 2 hours a day.. expect for sunday lahx... I played the whole day after I download... haha... I slacked the whole sat and sun...

Talking about sat... I got duty and thought I was going to mug with the J1s... so I bought like bio and maths there... and guess wad? I did nothing... nothing at all... haha... cause no J1s to motivate me to mug... So I did the props for the ah long skit and then chit chat with Peifang... OMG~ I finally found someone to talk to about my KO3! people in my class also don watch you tube as much as I do :( haha... I also donno what they do when the go online... Game???

Anyways... Off to study bio... I got only 13/35 for my genetics test! 加油吧！And I am not going to play audi today... I hope... haiz... I am dumb...

Quotes for the day:)
Still moving under gunfire...

-JJ Lin~

2009-03-13T19:40:00.002+08:00

I was cordialy invited... Haha... But I didn't go... two reasons... No one to go with me... and you will have no idea how ulu that place is.... The nearest MRT is China town and I couldn't even see it in the map! Yup... That's why I didn't go...

Today's sport day was damn tiring... I cheered... haha... abit no voice lerx... cause yesterday went K! OMG~ I zao sia like no one's busniess yesterday lahx... I think veron's ear 受尽折磨了... haha... Then she say I got a lao qiang... haha... That's my 各人特色... lol.... she also got a qiang when she sing... nice though... and I very 羡慕 she can hit the high pitch lahx... cause my 假音很烂... haha... and then saw JinXian and Fion... they went K too... so qiao right... and that two jumped on the chair like gila lahx... couldn't imagine Fion being high? See she in K-box... haha... Planning another one in june with the korean gang... whee... hope it turns out fine and I won't zao sia again... haha...

Okie... I deviated from my sports day... Yups... I cheered for Owens... though I am not very rooted to it... haha... Cheered for the fartlek guys... got syafiq and ted! Ted is like so damn cute can... he is like a teddy bear running lolx... haha... cute!!! I am in love with Ted! I fell in love with ted... Aik Song went to rono and JieHeng went to Banni... but he is still with owen! Jia Yous!

Then wed was e-learning... I swear I won't want another home learning... I sat in front of this com for like th whole morning doing hw! and wed I don even have maths and I have to do a maths quiz... good thing the maths quiz is easy... haha...

Tml have duty from 8-6.... sianed... Have to tolerate the J1s... I think they would be there... hiaz... This year J1s sucks big time... not only they mug... even during sports day... damp my mood sia... and when we cleared the litter they acted they couldn't see... Felt like screaming at them do you understand english? Which part of please pick up the litter do you not understand... 09S27! irritating... rah!

It's the hols! But not for me... sobs.... got alot to catch up... especially in Bio... I got another U added to my bio record... congrats.... :)

2009-03-06T16:43:00.003+08:00

To say that I am happy...
I am not...
To say that I am sad...
I am not...
Maybe it's because chinese is not impt?
I have no idea...
Anyway... I sort of expected it... :)
So... No harm done...
If you think I am sad... :)

Saturday I went for kiddoletics... It's pretty fun if not for the damn lousy organisation and communication.. The kids were great and hyper too :) I don't mind going for another one though! But I doubt any one would wanna go :(

Sunday stay at home to pia homework... took a little break off and watch KO3... Damn lame can... haha.... One coin... hit one glass bottle... the chain effect to a metal can... then to a rock... and hit the guy... HAHAHA! Tml going to watch 2nd ep :)

Monday... usual school day... sianed... Nothing change... if anything changed... it changed for the worse... Tues... Same routine.... Wed went to NPP for the skit... I sort of got 'kicked' out of the performance though... cuase too many ppl lerx... so I am doing the props instead... Felt quite... angry is not the word... haha... maybe sad bahx... So I thinking if I wanna go for the event that day... since I am not needed... Thurs I have two test... GP TCA which I screwed up most likely... and Bio SPA... I think I screwed it up... So veron... now you know why I am so reluctant to talk about it... :) Sad...

Today... Friday... Release of A level results... Our school top student got straight As! Congrats! Although I donno who that person is... and second in the school guess who? Jacky's Bro! Damn cool! Haha... Then the teacher went on their routine talks about starting revision now... Hello... Is not I dowan to start... it's I didn't have time... If I could even finish studying a test... it would be pretty a miracle :) so who has the time to study J1 work? And you know... I think I got Veron's sleeping genes... I sleep alot now adays and still wake up tired... Is this an illness? But I will do it during the march hols! I am really going to start studying...

Aims for A-Levels:
GP: B

Maths: A
Chem: A
Econs: A
Bio: B

Bio B because I sort of losing hope in it... :( not that I want... but no matter how much I study... I can score... I said I love econs and Chem... so I WANT an A and Maths... Expected A.

That's all from me...

6 more days... To SMUDGE~

2009-02-27T17:44:00.004+08:00

OMG~ I saw sihui at ms tan house on tues... damn happi can.... very long never see her lerx... and we chatted in mr tan hse like we are at kopitiam like that... haha... she is stressed... so am I... haha... Thanks to her... I am not as regretting that i got into JC... it's that different kind of stress lahx... But all of us have to Jia You... haha... And she said to play netball and go out after my A's... whee!!! Hope we still stay in touch then... hahah... Anyway.. After A's I got alot of plans... yah... I know it's only feb... but I am already flying t two countries after my A's... and if we are still friends... maybe overseas with 7!... So I am touring the world after A's.... excited man... wootz...

Having kiddoletics tml and movies... Suspect X... blog about it next week then... haha...

为什么一定要长大
为什么世界变得好复杂
我不想独自面对眼泪流下
我只想紧紧抱着他

有时候我喜欢和朋友一起分享冒险的游戏
有时候我宁可到海边去淋雨
只是我找不到我自己
我的心其实在逃避
每天被困在幻想和现实之间
我想回家

为什么一定要长大
为什么都不说出真心话
我不想别人看穿我的倔强
我真的好想要回家

再坚强的人也需要一个靠山
而我的在那里？

2009-02-20T15:12:00.004+08:00

It's finally friday! Yippee~ But I have a busy weekend ahead... haha... this week had mass test... dying soon man... :X

Start from Monday... First lesson... econs lect test on NIS... and I wrote so happily and donno why... I suddenly felt a need to relook at the question... At one look... I knew I wrote out of point... but only 10mins to end of paper... so don care... continue writing... DIE! Most likely going to fail or just scrap pass bahx... And guess wad... I did well for my market failure case study can... Ms chew still give me M&Ns... haha... actually i like it when teachers give me rewards... cause... got that type of 被肯定 de feel... But I think this time she will be damn 失望 can... haiz...

Then tues got Chem SPA trail trail... yah... and you know wad... my crystal is damn pathetic... experiment fail.... real SPA = DIE! I feel so sad can... haiz... I am in love Chem so much but it dosen't like me... :( Anyway... I am starting to feel that I am not a science type of person... I am more towards the Arts... I feel... I love Literature... but because I know I can't do well... so I just give it up... haha... I am gradually falling in love with Econs too... Maybe it's because of the teacher??? I have no idea... I think I chose science because I think I can do better cause everyone who knows me knows that my language suxs and my vocab is damn limited... haha... I like Science too lahx... Especially Chem :)

Wed... Worst test of all... Bio test... I studied like some shit for that test and in the end... I am quite sure I am getting a single digit back... if I get double digit... It's a miracle and if I pass, I might as well jump off the building... Know why? Cause out of 4 structured qns... I blanked 2... and one is total blank... Yup... so I am half expecting Ms Goh to call up my parents... :X

Thurs... Good thing maths test went off well... and this is the first time I finish+ Checking a maths test 20 mins before the end of the paper... So I was like damn scared I missed out a qn or wad and I keep double check... cause the whole LT is like still doing... scribbling... then I look around... look beside... all still doing... Then... you know... don have the an quan gan... but I admit that the test is very easy... yah... I think I am going to see quite a no of full maths coming from our class again... Seriously, I think S01 is super PRO in maths... This makes me think of Promos when the whole class got A and other classes have people failing and ungraded.... lol...

Today there is Drama Fest in our school... at 4... 3 more mins... haha... Haiz... decide not to go... Veron and Seiyu not going... but I wanna watch the Drama!!! Damn sad... I thought they going can... haiz... Now do you agree I am more of a art person? Haha... I am starting to think is it because of JJ Lin? Cause he is very art person and he influences... yah... anyway... I am so sad I couldn't go for the drama fest :(

Look at this and if you see something... you will understand how I am feeling now...

2009-02-06T18:23:00.007+08:00

Smile even when it's hard to smile...
Just to put on the facade of your true emotions...

OMG~ Our J1s are total muggers! I have hell no idea why they are at JJ when they mug... and this year our COP dropped... Haiz... 14 already very lousy ler nia... now drop until 15... haiz.... Oh yah... I am talking about the J1s... First week of school and our J1s are hogging my dining table studying... freaking scary can... I don remember myself studying the first week I came in can... I think I still playing and in orientation mood... haha...We came out with the conclusion that school was too boring for them that they start studying... haha... Anyway... Quite a few JVS ppl and I am being recognised... so malu can... hiaz...

Lol... I need someone to talk to now... any self-claimed counselers who chance upon my blog? Can you leave me a tag? haha...

我们之间不知道发生了什么事
不知何时我们之间没了话题
不知何时你已经不需要我的依靠了
是因为我对你没有利用价值了吗？
还是。。。
因为我不值得你花时间在我身上？

2009-01-25T13:05:00.005+08:00

~~Maybe I am too 'kind' that I always get ride over...~~
~~I should learn to be 'unkind' alittle...~~

~~Maybe what the old said is true...~~
~~Parents either always love the eldest or the youngest...~~
~~The second never got their chance...~~

~~When I need someone to talk to...~~
~~There's nobody I could open to...~~

~~Ignore this post...~~

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVE!!!

no new year resolutions this time cause I am having problems with the previous one... haha
Firstly, A Happy Birthday to E-goh! Have a Eventful Eighteen :)

Friday I was cheated to school cause the stupid VP told us that there was lessons and I was dumb enough to bring all my stuff... haha... lol... but the fun part was that we celebrated Ms Zhang's BD! She is so damn funny lahx... the water melon cake was pretty cute too... haha... took class pic but without darshana again... :( we gave her a cookbook and she was like... I can cook... haha.. Ms Chew was there too... whee! JieHeng, AikSong and Ted joined us too :) A reunion! And Ms Zhang was very pretty that day... after school sure to pa tuo lolx... haha...

But too bad we didn't manage to win the class deco... i think the judges have hell no idea what the crap we wrote... haha! Show you the pic :)

The story wrote:
Once upon a time
There were 27 childern with their MaMa
MaMa loves Chemistry
And will use Sugar Spice and Everything NICE
and 'POOF!'
change them into CH4 molecules
Unfortunately, 3 methane molecules flew away (Miss them)
Leaving 24 children...

Then... 24 children cloned out MaMa2
On the contrary, MaMa 2 loves Econs
She used ceteris paribus assumption
to change them into gold coins (keeping other factors constant)
Then they live happily ever after...
to be continued...
love 08S01...

lol... this is lame...

Oh ya! and I went to watch the wedding game yesterday... there were two scene that was damn funny lah! but I downa be spoiler here... I laughed like for another 2 mins after that scene passed lahx... And I saw a chinchilla! Haha... Ms Goh will go mad.... :X

2009-01-20T20:08:00.005+08:00

Think of me from Phantom of the opera :) Although not sang by JJ, but it's still nice and it makes me wonder how he hit that Ahahaahah part... I tried and my voice broke :(

Today I think I going to flunk that maths test... 3 out of 7 qn donno how to do... haha... lol... how to pass... somemore veron say the vectors all basic qns lehx... Die liaox... Haha... hmm... I am feeling a widening gap... I hope history dosen't repeat itself... just the other way round... haiz.. Time to PIA!!!

GO! BREAK! GO! BREAK! GO! BREAK! GO BREAK! BREAK GO!

CNY coming :) Everyone!

2009-01-17T20:04:00.004+08:00

A short post here to revive my blog... Wouldn't be updating often for I got better things to do now when I go online... whee...

I can't believe I just slept 3 hours just now... hmm... I wonder how I am going to sleep later... entertain me? Today's trip to NYP was great I would say but I went for typically the wrong thing... I was shecduled for radiography but crashed occupational instead... Judith too... haha... we crashed together... :) cause there activity looks great... But in the end we did like painting... you know the primary sch you cut the fruits and dip it in paint and then pa on the paper??? Yah... and some meditation I would say... haha... wanted to go physiotherapy one... but I saw there programme wrote, PT fitness drill... and I was 0_0 dowan go liaox... in the end found out it was just some agiligty drills... then wanted to jump over... but too late :( but occupational therapy is similar to physio... or to be true... I donno what's the difference.... the people there is very entertaining... this is like one in 100 lecture that I would laugh I suppose... haha...

If I am offered to scholarship in physiotherapy... I will go for it... I am sure of that... but if I am not offered... I am sorry... I am closing my doors for polytechnic education after A's... it's very very weird...and without scholarship who is going to pay for my overseas trip for a one yr degree? And one of the lecturers also said it's better to get sponsership...

Some notes to make here... School days = Emo days for me... So if you guys see me down in school... it's nothing in particular... just... I donno... yah... I just came to a conclusion that it's school days... and I am pretty sure some of you could see the difference of me during the hols and in school lahx... cause I felt the difference too... And maybe I am an XXX chromosome... who fails to show the femine side but the emotional side... who knows? OMG~ I am mutated...

Currently... sort of pissed off with one particular section of CDC... I really want to shout all the colourful words out this time... it's getting on my nerves... I really try to be just normal with it... but I can't... it's my resume... I counting on a scholarship through uni or rather poly... So please... stop doing this to me... I am really getting pissed... My hours gone wrong again!!! and WHAT THE FUCK.... It's fucking moving backwards!!!

Talking to my bro online now... it seems pretty weird... cause he is just 10 steps away... hmmm... I think I am a Shuang Main ren... or someone suffering from some mental disoorder... god...

2009-01-03T21:43:00.006+08:00

Taking a break off studying :) You know.. all work and no play makes jack a dull boy? Haha...

It's the new year! And I am going to be drown in A-levels! Hmm... Must be optimistic... yah... Count down was.... (5 crows flew pass) We met at 7 (Well.. Sort of I suggested the time) it's like damn early lahx... Ate BK and that stupid veron give me false hope... I thought she going count down with us... sobs.... Then go boonlay and shock dio... WanRong was like wearing so formal lahx... collared tee... kkz... and LiXuan talked and laugh alot... his teeth very cute >.<

I am happy today... so shall upload some photos from Korea :)

My very salty dinner on the plane... haha... :)

That's where our hostel is... The pics... later... :)

This is the first place we went to... MyeongDong... I think it's spelled like that... The street in the morning... wee :)

Hmm...Eating ice-cream in cold weather? It's pretty cool :) Cause it won't melt! You can take your time to eat... but my cone gave way instead :( Mine is the brown and white one (Choco & Vanilla) and actually I bit off the top lerx... you could look carefully to see it.. :)

OMG~ Who's this terrorist???

I had champange grape in Korea... Super Nice :))))

Our room... AKA Bangla room... see the clothes hanging around???

Calligraphy lesson... and I wrote the only korean word I know how to write... Saranghaeyo... haha

Let's compare the teacher's brush strokes (left) and mine (Right) haha... it's one heaven and one hell... haha... and the words are all written wrongly... wee :)

HanYoung school :) I went for exchange there... heheh...

Well... I shall stop here :) More pics nixt time when I am happy :)

Anyonghekahsaeyo :) = Goodbye :)

2008-12-31T15:39:00.004+08:00

Last day of disaterous 2008

Ask if I regretted going into JC, I would say yes. Junior College is just not right for me... O-levels result was plain luck... But I do understand why I chose JC over poly then... Several reasons... A lost bet, teacher's encouragement and also... the most important of all... I am afraid that I chose the wrong course... The one that wasn't meant to be...

But if you ask if I regretted going to JJ, I would say no. I know people will be shocked, but yes, I did not regret. JJ is great I would say. Although academic wise we are not there, but life is made better in JJ than other JC, I can bet on that. The activities planned, the chance they give to each student... were great. I was happy that I didn't appeal for AC then although there is like almost 0% I would get in anyway....

Reflections of 2008. JC life sucks big time, promos sux but ironically I got a bursary... Life is simply, eat sleep study eat sleep study... Next year? Or rather tomorrow? study study STUDY... and I think after A's all my notes has became kiam cai...

2009 resolutions? Shall start with the more difficult one...

World Peace. Hope that next year I won't open the papers and see people dying due to terrorism attacks in middle east and India.
Health: Scandals are no longer present. No more tainted milk, chocolate and what ever you can thing of.
Financial Crisis: World-wide fall in stocks crashed many hopes and dreams. Next year we will make a good turn.
Education: Hope I pass A-levels with flying colours and cope well with J2.
Friends: Maintain the friendship I have with 7! I don't want history to repeat itself.
Family & Friends: Stay happy and cheerful forever.
Someone: To be more sensitive to it's surroundings (Not to say the person is a him or her... so just call the person it.)
Myself: What goes around comes around.

Hope these things do come true :) Although point one is barely achievable :)

范逸臣-無樂不作.Mp3 -

That's all folks...
Say goodbye to 2008~

2008-12-21T22:20:00.007+08:00

This Chirstmas
8A Ann Siang Road
A.R.K House
22nd December 2008
3pm-5pm...

For people who are wondering why I am going around asking where the hell is Ann Siang Road... This is the reason... The launch of Smudge... The colour of freedom... You know... I am so darn tempted to buy this shirt... But the cost... hmm... 69.90... Haiz... I don't print money you see...

Okie... I watched Twilight last thursday... OMG~ Twilight owns me! I think that's the best movie I watched this year... I suppose... Hmm... The dashed to buy the book after the movie... but too bad... I couldn't get the original version :( so I took the movie version instead... the girls are saying that Edward is nice-looking but I feels like something about his face features is very wrong and indeed he look really like a vampire... haha... I think I like the dad Carlisle more :D I like the character Alice though after a reading marathon for 4 days and my parents saying that I am mad... hmm... The way she takes things peacefully... I suppose and her powers to see the future... But I must admit that Edward leaves me a very good impression in both the book and movie and I could really visualize his looks... well... sort of made biased by the guy who acted Edward... haha... But bella gives me the impression of a very weak girl which dosen't really tally with her character of dating a vampire... anyway... don't want to be a spoiler here but I think people who pass by here had read the book lahx... haha... I am wanting for more... I think I am swarming down orchard soon to get the other 3 books at one go... I don't want to make anymore trip to that mega town... :(

Anyway... before the movie, I was with Veron at Fareast and I finally dare to walk into the shop... it's really damn scary lahx... so dark and ulu... But I went in anyway and saw this... I think a vest... (Well... what do you call the sleevless jacket???) that I swore I saw derrick wearing to yu bai but it's red... erm... I thought the vest was cool... but the price was cooler... hmm... 115 bucks for god sake! I don;t own a bank! Anyway, the shop assistant was friendly and gave us the name card... went to check out the website and found a few nice clothes... Don't even bother to buy cause they are either sold out (no restocks) or too expensive... yah...

Tee=69, Jacket= 115~155, Caps= 69, Belts= 40 plus... yah... unless you own the bank or print money... you are not really going to get all these... haha..

This two are similar shirts but just different colours... Sorry... Recently my world of colours are dull... I am madly in love with black... So you will see alot of blacks... hmm...

I don't think it's very clear here.. but thats a hoodie (is that what you call a jacket with hoods?) And the prints are playing cards... Rather interesting...

This is the vest I was talking about... but the one I saw was red in colour... pretty cool... I know it dosen't look nice here... but it look nice there in the shop :)))

This is the couple jeans... I like it because of the two leos at the back pocket... Super Kawaii desuka!

Hmm... come to think of it... i think this is the first time I finish a 400 near 500 pages book in 4 days... yah lahx.... you know my pace of reading... and my attention span... haha...

2008-12-19T12:02:00.002+08:00

This wasn't the first time I walked out on them...

Guys... I am sorry...

But I can't promise there is no next time...

Because... being trapped in between wasn't my choice afterall :)

And I can't just leave it as it is...

Beneath the calm waters, there are whirpools...

Everything you see now is just an illusion...

To the ones who reads this is understands what i am talking about...

It's time for you to stop and think...

What have you done to make what it is today...

stop complaining...

2008-12-16T20:43:00.002+08:00

Finally 17...
Now no one can say that I am still 16...
Yippee...
But stupid veron was saying two more months and she is 18...
and go watch M18 show dowan jio me... :(

Went East Coast park today to cycle.... Whee~ Months since I cycle we went to Changi Safra... but without the guys cause Lixuan was having problem with his blades and blade can't pass a rocky road to SAFRA so the guys went mac and the girl sat at the rock around SAFRA watching the sea... Haha... we sat there from high tide to low tide sia... talking about mountains, volcanos, typoon, hurricane and all your geo stuff... I can't imagine a volcano erupting in the sea and out of the sudden you see smoke -_-''' haha... Had mac for dinner and lunch... OMG... Actually wanted to eat Kao yu... but since the guys had mega mcspicy for tea-break I doubt they want a dinner... lol...

Anyway... THANKS Alfred, HuiMin, Seiyu, WanRong, LiXuan and Veron for the birthday gift! Although you guys gave me three random thing... eh... not really lahx... but at first I thought it was Sixology.... Haha... The shecdule book... Hmm... Actually I already had one... I bought from Korea... About the same... But that one is Zoo land and this one is fairy tale... haha... but anyway, I will use it next year :) Zoo Land can wait... And the pen... actually I had one too...but not so many colours... Shoelace... hmm... am I suppose to tie it to my shoe? I abit she bu de lehx... later dirty... Haha... and I have no idea what a shoelace have to do with a shecdule book and pen... hmm... But anyway, THANK YOU for your presents and today! (even though the birthday song was...)

2008:
Veron's BD- We haven't met each other...
WanRong's BD- We are still not close...
Alfred's BD- We went to Suntec for dinner @ Secret Recipe. And we shopped down the whole orchard to buy him a shirt.
SeiYu's BD- We had a gross movie at Cathay and we almost got Lixuan's house burnt down on baking cookies... haha... JK...
LiXuan's BD- We shopped Marina for a basketball... and I felt sorry for not being there during his BD...
HuiMin's BD- We tear down the whole of Giant IMM for BBQ stuff and drag our way to West coast and BBQed in the rain... We toured the country to get her a cap and a pencil case.
Beiyii's BD- We went to ECP and cycled in a single file... They shopped JP (I suppose) and got me a book, pen and shoelace.

Oue evolution of Birthdays... I wonder what's going to happen next year :)

2008-11-22T22:58:00.002+08:00

Today I went for Standard Charterted Marathon briefing at RP and OMG~ Guess who I saw at Causeway point??? Wahaha... JJ LIN!!! Weee~ Actually I know he is there lahx... But it's just so qiao we have to wait for Wenjun and so they decided to go causeway walk walk... and I saw him!!! OMG~ So today I overly high lahx... So ppl bu yao jian guai... cause I sort of saw alf expression... -_-''' yah.... And veron say he looks better than before! OMG~ First time got ppl tell me he look good leh! No offence to JJ Lin support who happens to pass by... And seriously... I think he looks better too... and I am now wondering why at the beginning I think he new zao xin and hairstyle sucks big time but now I think I am like checkered stuff more and more... :)

Found this from his blog :) cut abit lahx...

已經陸年了
我看過很多人來來去去
許多美好的小小回憶偶爾會浮現
從2003年第一場簽名會，還記得是在忠孝東路上的玫瑰唱片，你送給我自己做的小JJ娃娃
2004年拍豆漿油條MV時幾位貼心歌迷朋友的守候
2005年重慶的萬人簽唱會的壯觀場面，帶著白色小狗的歌迷
2006年巡迴演唱會站在台下哭著的朋友
2007年陪我破Guiness世界紀錄的朋友
到2008年跟我一起錄影，一起上台玩遊戲，一起合唱小酒窩。。。

有些朋友比較少見到，甚至跟本不見了，
長大之後也有自己的夢想，一定要自己去爭取，
有些朋友卻依然陪著我一起成長，每次看到會很開心，很安慰。。
也有很多新面孔，新鮮的笑容和聲音，給我新的力量，
也許對你來說我是你成長的一個過程，正在迷戀，或曾經瘋狂過的對象。
對你來說，我是所有歌手中你比較欣賞的其中一個。
但不喜歡了也可以有權力隨時支持別人但你要記得，只要我是歌手的每一天，我就只有你。

Going korea soon... Donno wether should Qi Dai anot... Hiaz.. If there is at least some one I know going with me wouldn't it be better? Hiaz....

那些＿愛過才會懂的道理
那些＿以為沒人暸解的夢想

Understand... Good for you...
Don understand... it's ok...
It depends on your own view to these 2 sentences...

2008-11-15T21:19:00.002+08:00

Yippee! It's Qinny birthday today! But she is not at home... haha... Now waiting for her to come back.

HAPPY NINETEEN QINNY!!! May all your wish come true and stay cute and pretty forever~

I have alot of november babies friends around me... hehe... So I will have a busy november? Wahaha... Hmm... One more month and one more day, I will be officially 17! Even if it's not my birthday YET, please treat me as a 17! I am very sensitive it this ok. So what if it's december baby? Am I born in 1991? And 2008-1991 is it 17? yes right. Yah... Get what I mean huh... (PS: To cinemas especially. Who says before birthday I am not 17?) Rah!

Fine... today is suppose to be a happy day! Went for korea briefing and guess wad, I have NO ONE i know going Korea! Talking about girls lahx hohx... And I have to sleep with 5 unknown ppl! OMG! And there is 0-7 degree!!! I think I will freeze there... haha... Went my uncle house to borrow winter wear from him... Wah seh he super cool lahx... got alot... then still say you wear this first, then wear this then wear this then the last one is the coat... I was like 0.0 so many layersssss!!!! And I think my lagguage is going to burst! Gosh~ And still need to write report. -_-''' sianed... Mine is on the DMZ and JSA zone.... also donno what are they lahx... I know DMZ is the north and south korea the zone lahx... The other one... hell no idea! Want to send me off? I departing at 22.40 at Changi Terminal 1 on 25 november... Wah seh... So bu yao lian... who wanna send you off? But it's ok... I will get you guys presents!